(Not) Summer Ready
It’s summertime again and once again for another summer my ass is not summer ready. Now some of you might be wondering: what kind of summer ready do you have to be? It’s not like you’d be wearing a bikini.
To which I will say this:
If I had the body for it, yes I would.
First of all.
Second… regardless of your gender and we could spend a lot of time talking about gender and different gender roles and stereotypes that I’m really just over, I really am. Everybody wants to feel pretty. Everybody wants to be comfortable going to the beach or going to the pool, nobody wants to feel as though they’re looking like a hot mess. It’s bad enough that I am about ten kinds of European pale whiteness that makes me burn to a crisp any time I’m in the sun to long (even with some kind of Sun block because they don’t make SPF 100).
When I was younger I really didn’t care what anybody thought about me, and for the most part I still really don’t. But it was also back then that I think I was more comfortable with me, and now the older I get I’m really not. There’s probably about a few dozen reasons for that, none of which I’m going to get into, but I think the biggest reason has to be my weight. It’s been a major issue for me for most of my life, and I’ve talked and hmmed and hawed all up and down about doing something about it, but obviously if I honestly wanted to I would have done so already right? I mean that’s how this happens. Try though I might, there is no weight loss spell (believe me I got my 5000 book of spells back and it’s not going to happen that easily). It’s a lot like writing a novel, it takes time and commitment and you actually making the effort. It doesn’t just happen because you want it too (and put a pin in that because I think I’ll be talking about that tomorrow).
A while back I wrote a blog post commenting on an article that suggested that you shouldn’t just exercise because it’s good for your physical health but also because it’s good for your mental health, it can help with writers block too. I thought well if that’s not going to give me a reason to want to exercise I don’t know what is… so… I started. And I made it maybe three/three and a half weeks (and that’s probably generous) and then one day of having a cold or being tired or something and deciding to take time off turned into just forgetting altogether.
The point I’m trying to make here is… I think I’ve reached the point where I’m ready to really do this for me. Not because it might help my writing and maybe not even because of health reasons but because I want to feel beautiful again. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be like… DAAAMMMMNNNN BITCH YOU FINE! Because you know, I may be a professional, but sometimes I like to have fun and just be crazy. (DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!)
I’ve made some great strides in this direction. I’ve stopped drinking soda altogether, I’ve switched exclusively to tea which to some people may not necessarily seem healthier but believe me it is. Probably a third of the sugar alone…and I’m also working on creating a workout routine for myself. I know that it’s going to be a slow process and to be honest that’s the most difficult part, I have no patience for anything. It’s another one of my control freak issues I think and it’s going to really take my sitting down (or not sitting down in this case) and just doing it and doing it everyday and not stopping because that’s the only way I’m going to accomplish results.
PS: I’m well aware it’s actually called Throwback Thursday but I thought this might be a bit more important.
