Football announcers (everywhere else) T...

Football announcers (everywhere else)
Their favorite word is gooooooooaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll although singularly syllabic in most instances, this one syllable is impossible to utter with any brevity. Hence, although the announcer’s favorite word, the far more commonly voiced “pass” trumps their favorite in presentation. One observes the football announcer’s enthusiasm for their favorite noun to determine its primary position in their lexicon. The difficulty for football announcers arises in the simplicity of their syllables. Every noun, verb, adjective, pronoun, &c, is single-syllabic. Thus a football announcer’s rendition of the contest’s events resembles the sound of a human’s fingers clacking away at a keyboard. Students mired in their respective areas of expertise at UCLA’s Dick Butkus’s College of Sports Announcers hear these football announcers in neighboring labs and assume them to be prolific writers. They are, in fact, excellent communicators in Morse Code. Thus a few seconds of the football announcer’s genius: dash dash dot, dash dash dash, dash dot, dash dash dot dot, dot dash, dot dash dot dot dot, dot, dot dot dot dot dash dash dot, dot dash, dot dot dot, dot dot dot dash dash dash dash dash dot, dash dash dash, dash dot, dash dash dot dot, dot dash, dot dash dot dot dot, dot, dot dot dot dash dash dot, dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash dash, dot dash dot dash dot dash dot dash dot dash dot dash dot dash dot dash dot dash, dot dash dot dot dot dash dot dot dot dash dot dot dot dash dot dot dot dash dot dot dot dash dot dot dot dash dot dot!!!!!!!! Transliterated this comes out: “Gonzales passes to Gonzales, gooooooooaaaaaaaa alllllllllllll!!!!! And when put into context, the football announcer has determined he will have bacon with his scrambled eggs instead of the turkey sausage, because it’s gameday, and he might as well treat himself.