And Then There Are the Naked Men

I've known people who had a talent for breaking bones. Others can't seem to get anywhere on time, and a few win every raffle they enter, at least it seems that way. But my favorite is a relative who runs into a naked man about once a year. No, she doesn't go to Foxxy Frenchmen shows or join nudist colonies. They come to her, and she has no idea why.

She managed an apartment building. One day a man knocked on her door to report "a naked man barking like a dog." Sure enough, one of her tenants had neglected his meds and was terrifying his neighbors with canine antics.

She lived in an apartment complex where a man chose nakedness when he was in his own home. His choice, except he lived in a terrace apartment and also chose to leave the blinds open and the lights on. Her choice, after a few incidents, was to exit on the other side of the building.

Another time she was working at a small business where her office was on the second floor. Through the windowed entry door, she saw a man coming up the stairs, shirtless. Odd, but not unheard of. When he opened the door and came in, however, she saw that he was everything-less. He informed her that he'd found explosives in his clothing (apparently planted by aliens) and therefore had left it on the sidewalk below. Her solution? Give the nice man a ride in a police car.

We all have talents we recognize. Some we cultivate; some we try to hide under the Biblical bushel. Maybe this relative of mine should carry a bushel with her wherever she goes. It would just about hide the parts these men are showing off, the parts she has no desire to see.