Little Writer Things

Fist off, as a little writer thing, make no mistake, this happens All. The. Time. I had a few nice, fun little stories to tell and between the moment when I decided it would be fun to make them into a post and the moment when I opened my blog (and it was open already, I didn’t even have to sign in, so that was about one second’s time) I forgot all the little things I wanted to say.

True story.

Oh yeah. I remember…

Story one: I wrote a scene today that is the best illustration I can think of about writing what you know while at the same time, stepping into the skin of a completely foreign character. I wrote an entire conversation these two gay men had over one of them buying new glasses for the other. I know this scenario, because I recently bought my daughter’s first pair of glasses with her and the scenario is fresh in my mind because it *was* new. But at the same time, it was completely weird, because the one doing the spending is a gay guy–which I am obviously not–and his budget is limitless–which as a starving writer, I can only day dream about. So that’s how we do it. That’s how we write what we know while we totally step out of our own  skin at the same time.

Then another author friend of mine, Amy Lane shared this, and if you’ve ever met Amy, you can probably totally hear her say this, as I did, when I read it.

A Writer’s Struggle in One Act

Me: Now I will write some porn.

Porn: HEY LOOK A PLOT

Me: No, put that down.

Porn: I DON’T KNOW IT’S A PRETTY NICE PLOT

Me: No, it doesn’t belong to you! Leave it alone!

Porn: THIS IS A GOOD PLOT. I WILL LOVE IT AND CUDDLE IT AND CALL IT “GEORGE”

Me: Stop that right now, we need to get to the fucking!

No-Longer-Porn: SEE MY SHINY NEW PLOT

Me: ::facedesk::

Because that’s what happens. When they’re supposed to be getting naked, they get romantic. Or scared. Or angry. Or they fall asleep. Or they decide to fold laundry. Honestly. It’s a fiasco….