Front MatterThis Book was written f...

Front Matter
This Book was written for one purpose and one purpose only: So that readers will become aware of, and respect the existence of, Freaks in the reader’s everyday existence. The compilers and editors have no illusions about this book being used as a reference tool. They expect you to use this book, make love on top of it when it’s been left on your bed and forgotten in the passionate sweep of general missives to the floor at such times, and they expect you will often spill your beer upon it. After you have learned about Freaks, you can throw this book away. Along the way, the compilers and editors hope you will have acquired a copy of the Freak-In-Training Reference Manual to use throughout your career.
This book is not intended as a reference tool, because you cannot use it in everyday life, nor in the continual examination of the nearly constant influx of Freaks one will encounter.

In the course of choosing specific types to be classified as “freaks” specific criteria must be considered. Therefore in keeping with current scientific and philosophic trends toward human classification, the criteria are as follows: 1) Is the subject alive, living , breathing , cells dividing and dying ? 2) Does the subject make use of—directly or indirectly—a form of complex linguistics? 3) The subject must have at least one of the requisite following characteristics for life forms in the known universe: response to external stimuli, the capability for reproduction, general homeostasis, and the ability to grow and respond to changes in external environments, i.e., to adapt.

Because this book was designed with such care and attention to detail, the options for its use are necessarily limited. Upon its inception, the following uses were taken into consideration:

•You should study every subject in this book. To diffuse the knowledge of Freaks, is the professed design of the following work. What methods, it may be asked, have the compilers employed to accomplish this design? Not to mention original articles, they have had recourse to the best books upon almost every subject, extracted the useful parts, and rejected whatever appeared trifling or less interesting. Instead of dismembering the Freaks of Earth, by attempting to treat them intelligibly under a multitude of technical terms, they have digested the principles of every Freak in the form of systems or distinct treaties, and explained the terms as they occur in the order of the alphabet, with references to the classifications to which they belong. • As this plan differs from that of all the Dictionaries of Arts and Sciences hitherto published, the compilers think it necessary to mention what they imagine gives it superiority over the common method. A few words will answer this purpose. Whoever has had occasion to consult Terwilliger, Owens, &c. or even the voluminous French Encyclopedie, will have discovered the folly of attempting to communicate Freaks underthe varioustechnical terms arranged in an alphabetic order. Such an attempt is repugnant to the very idea of Science, which is a connected series of conclusions deduced from self-evident or previously discovered principles. It is well if the reader be capable of comprehending the principles and relations of the different parts of Freaks, when laid before her in one uninterrupted chain. But where is she who can learn the principles of any Freak from a dictionary compiled upon the plan hitherto adopted? We will, however, venture to affirm, that any reader of ordinary parts, may, if he chooses, learn the principles of the Action Film, of Americans, of those with Big Legs, of Celebrities, &c. &c. from The Book of Freaks. • You need to decide on a study schedule. The compilers separated the subjects and chose the quantity of Freaks in this book so that you can easily review a chapter in an hour or so—even if you are taking other courses with other work. There are ninety-one chapters in the following work. So, you need at least fifteen study days. The compilers recommend a plan to take every fourth or fifth study day off. Use the days off to rest, review, and study Freaks in their natural habitats. If you are pressed for time, you don’t have to take the days off. That remains your choice.

The editors, though fully sensible of the propriety of adopting the present plan, were not aware of the length of time necessary for the execution, but engaged to begin the publication too early. However, by the remonstrances of the compilers, the publication was delayed for twelve months. Still time was wanted. But the subscribers pushed the editors, and they at last persuaded the compilers to consent to the publication. If time had been allowed, the compilers designed to have completed the sciences before proceeding to the technical terms; and by that means to have guarded against omission, and made all the references from the terms to Freaks more particular. The consequence was unavoidable. We must further acknowledge, that, in some instances, we deviated from the general plan;