A Test of the Complete Lapse of Good Taste System

Originally published October 23, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1301

Warning: The following is a test of the Complete Lapse of Good Taste System. This is only a test.

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COMIC BOOK PUBLISHER RECALLS ‘SLUR’ COMIC

NEW YORK, Oct. 1, 1998 (UP) – Marvel Comics has recalled a bestselling issue that contained an anti-Semitic slur, the New York Post reported today.

The latest issue of Wolverine, which went on sale Wednesday, includes a scene in which a character refers to an adversary as “the kike known as Sabretooth.” The comic book was released on the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur.

“It should have read ‘the killer known as Sabretooth’,” professional industry insider Bunker Jefferson stated. “However, the fact that this typo slipped in is clear proof of an international Jewish conspiracy, formulated to make Marvel look as bad as possible.

“It wouldn’t have been quite as bad if the word had appeared in the next caption, which referred to Wolverine’s young friend Kitty Pryde,’ since, y’know, she really is a kike. So it would have been, y’know, truth in libel or something like that.”

Jefferson went on to say, “We’ve been expecting something like this ever since (Ron) Perelman was forced out. That resentful little Hebe swore that he was going to do something to make us look like fools, and this was most likely it. Our theory is that he called in some favors from the international Jewish conspiracy and this was actually a substitute page slipped in by one of his cronies right at the printer. Every one knows the Jews own all the printers anyway.”

In June, rival DC Comics was criticized for a comic that featured Superman taking on the horrors of the Holocaust, but omitted the word “Jew” from the story. “Frickin’ Hebes are never satisfied,” Jefferson stated.

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HEARD ON THE STREET

NEW YORK, Oct. 2, 1998 (UP) – Wolverine #131, featuring the famous Jewish epithet sequence, was marked up to $10 by retailers who are completely ignoring the recall and doing brisk business with fans seeking out the “instant collectible.”

“This is great,” said retailer Benny O’Riley of Lindenhurst, New York, who runs “Lotsa Comics” with partner Wallace McTavish. “I’m hoping Marvel recalls every book they shipped in October. I could retire.”

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CONTROVERSY WIDENS OVER ‘SLUR’ COMIC

SKOKIE, ILL., Oct. 5, 1998 (UP) – The Jewish Anti-Defamation League has publicly condemned Marvel Comics for its use of the word “kike” in relation to Sabretooth.

“Not only are we upset about the use of such a word,” said JADL head Avram Ben Josef, “but also the apparent implication that such a venal character as Sabretooth is supposed to be Jewish. Like we don’t have enough problems.”

“We are also concerned over Marvel Comics perpetuation of the international Jewish conspiracy which is alleged to control the entire entertainment industry,” continued Ben Josef. “This is a lie, and a damnable offensive lie at that. We call upon Marvel to retract that statement immediately, and to donate a six-figure sum which will enable us to plant approximately five thousand trees in the state of Israel. In this way we will be able to commemorate not only Marvel’s offensive behavior, but the trees which gave up their lives to serve as Wolverine #131.”

Attempts to locate a spokesperson for the comic book industry as a whole have failed, so no one has made an official response to the JADL’s statement.

“We are hoping that Marvel will cooperate, but we would not be surprised if they stonewall us,” Ben Josef said. “After all, what else would you expect from a company run by a bunch of wops and spics?”

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ROME, ITALY, Oct. 6, 1998 (UP) – Outrage was expressed by the Italian government today over the Jewish Anti-Defamation League’s statement that Marvel Comics was run by “a bunch of wops and spics.”

“Atsa no good,” stated public affairs liaison Vincent Tuscadero. “Sucha language, these-a words, it’sa gotta no place inna, whattaya call it, today’s polite society, and those-a Christ-killers, they know-a this.”

According to Tuscadero, there has been a good deal of communication between the Italian and Spanish governments over what actions should be taken.

Attempts to ask the Pope his opinion in the matter were unsuccessful, as it was the Pope’s bowling night and he was unavailable.

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TEL AVIV, Oct. 7, 1998 (UP) – Israeli officials today publicly condemned the actions of both the Spanish and Italian governments, stating that the Jewish Anti-Defamation League was acting in the best interests of the Jewish community.

“It’s amazing to us that it could have gone this far,” said spokesman Aaron Levy. “Between the spics and the wops running Marvel, and the micks who are selling the books and profiteering—it’s just incredible. But we will not stand for it. And we are going to use the twenty-seven movie studios and eighteen television networks we own and control to drive home the point that we will not stand for these attitudes in our enlightened times.”

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NEW YORK, Oct. 26, 1998 (UP) – A rush on Marvel stock ensued today as traders practically killed each other attempting to obtain shares, which have undergone a startling climb. Value of the stock shot up 93 points after reports that copies of instant collectible Wolverine #131 were going for as much $50 each.

“I think this may mark the turnaround the company’s been waiting for,” said trader Andy Rushman. Rushman was later taken to the hospital after one particularly aggressive round of trading left him with a dislocated shoulder and two broken ribs.

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NEW YORK, Oct. 28, 2000 (UP) – The comics world was stunned when the newly energized Marvel Comics purchased rival DC, as well as distributor Diamond Comics.

In other Marvel-related news, Sotheby’s announced in a recent auction that a pristine mint copy of Wolverine #131 sold for in excess of three thousand dollars. Meanwhile, retailer Wallace McTavish of “Losta Comics” in New York has stated that the “corrected” edition of Wolverine #131, which substitutes the word “killer” for “kike” and was shipped October 14, can still be found in most three-for-a-dollar boxes.

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UNITED NATIONS, Nov. 11, 2000 (UP) – A declaration of war broke out as representatives of Israel, Spain, Ireland, Scotland, Italy and—for no apparent reason—the Ukraine got into a fistfight after an hour of heated exchanging of racial epithets. The open declaration of warfare was roundly condemned by assorted chinks, limeys, frogs, crackers, and the “n-word.”

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This has been a test of the Complete Lapse of Good Taste System. Had this been an actual lapse in Good Taste, you would have been directed to which department of Krause Publications you could have written.

Geez, louise, it’s just a word, and a typo at that. (Actually, John Byrne offered the most likely scenario: The typist wrote the word “kikkers” instead of “killers,” ran it through a spellchecker, the spellchecker dropped in “kike” instead, and no one noticed it until too late. I can believe that. In this very newspaper, an entire column of But I Digress was rendered incomprehensible—or at least more incomprehensible than usual—when my spellchecker added words throughout the column.)

It was inevitable. It’s always the letterer who’s asked to make up the slack caused by late pencillers, inkers, colorists, and—and I don’t exempt myself from this—writers. The problem is, when you expect the machines to do the work for you (as apparently was the case with the editors who didn’t catch the goof) this is going to happen. Poor ComicCraft has nothing to be ashamed of. They’re caught up in a system that requires letterers to provide miracles of turnaround. As for the word itself—it’s just a word, and has precisely, no more and no less, the impact that you allow it to have. Speaking as a Jew, I absolutely could not care less.

Now, in the old days, letterers had to really work to screw things up. I remember one time when a fan came up to me at a convention with the New Mutants graphic novel, and pointed to a liner note which the letterer had actually lettered in. It was during a transformation sequence for Wolfsbane, and the note said, “Colorist: Be sure to put glow around Rahne.”

“This is really sloppy production,” said the annoyed fan.

Without hesitation, I said, “Is there a glow around Rahne?”

“Yes,” said the fan.

“Then what’s the problem?” I asked. “I mean, if there weren’t a glow around Rahne, then I could see being upset. But there is a glow around her. Be happy the colorist did it right.” The fan walked away, looking somewhat puzzled about the whole thing. He sure had an attitude about it, though. Hmm.

Maybe he was a killer…

(Peter David, noted Jewboy, can be written to at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705.)