30 minutes to midnight

The world isn’t such a bad place to be in, right now. As always, I’m in a place I didn’t expect to be in- a year back. I managed to move on from a relationship, from a residence, from a lifestyle that didn’t manage to catch on to my fancies. Maybe that’s all that I achieved in the last one year. But then again, I signed a publishing contract- my first, bought a cruiser bike- my first, joined a wonderful group of musicians, moved in with two great friends- I guess that should add up to something. Can I say that my rainy days are behind me? Probably not. But I sure as hell don’t mind getting wet any more. The sky doesn’t look any more blue than it did a year back. I grew my hair a bit, put on a few kilos, made some posts online, bought some new gadgets, and I dont feel any different.

I can say that I tried to rise above the misgivings of the past- I tried to explore the concept of spiritual behaviour and had some interesting results. Tried to comprehend the gravity of the trouble my parents went through to get me into this world. I learnt that my dedications should include my deceased elder sister Tuli Sinha Roy.

I haven’t lived yet. Not quite. I can feel my wings stronger than ever before. I can see the future as a less bleak streak than I had a year back. And I feel less alone in a crowd now.

Right now, It’s 30 minutes to midnight. And I’m still twenty one!