How to Stop Bullying: Deal with Bullying Behaviors when Children are Still Young

I am a firm believer that parents, educators and classroom teachers already know how to stop bullying behaviors. These important “players” in the lives of children just need reminders that they are the adults who are in the “driver’s seat” and can shape children’s ideals and behaviors while they are still young, moldable and impressionable. Yes, we can deal with bullying behaviors when children are still young.

We can teach children the “golden rule” and we all know what that rule entails: Treat others the exact way that you’d want to be treated. If this is true, who would bring harm to themselves?

It is within the duration of the younger years that we have the control for shaping the minds and hearts of children. Throughout this very crucial time in their lives we will want to instill deep-seeded attitudes of care, appreciation and remorse for the feelings of others, especially their family members, siblings and play mates. For the period of their formative years parents can observe how their children interact with their dolls, pets, and friends on play dates.

Parents, educators and classroom teachers will want to redirect inappropriate and unfavorable actions made by children and talk with them about feelings and how their behaviors may impinge on their friends who could become upset by their harmful words or inappropriate physical and perhaps harmful touch. Every one mentioned above should take time and use these upsets as “teachable moments.”

Stop inappropriate behaviors on contact and redirect the child at that moment. While it isn’t necessary to place the child in an uncomfortable embarrassing moment, adults should promptly remove the child and have a word with them in private.

How to Stop Bullying Behaviors while Children are still Young:

1. Using a calm voice, get the child’s attention

2. Tell the child that you’d like to have a word with him/her

3. Walk over to a quiet place

4. Get down on the child’s eye level and make sure there is eye contact

5. Tell the child what you observed

6. Give the child time to respond

7. Ask the child how they might feel if their friend reciprocated the same actions/words toward them

8. Talk about feelings and care for friends

9. Talk about maintaining friends and returning for future play dates

I believe strongly in the Proverb: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Feelings of remorse and care grow over time. If you’ve never had it, it will be hard to harvest it as a child grows older into the age of accountability.