Understanding The Price Of Being A True Leader

In life there are leaders and then there are followers. For the most part, followers are those that do the wrong things because society teaches them it’s the norm. Society teaches them that doing anything else is more than different, it’s unacceptable.

Of course, they are never described as “bad” things to do, just as if it’s cultural, natural, what’s common for a man or woman to do in this world and that the alternatives are uptight and boring.

Those who stand up and do something different than the crowd are often demonized, ostracized and criticized.

It just doesn’t seem fair to be different.

This has always been my issue in life. Running from the “fun” things because I held a higher moral code than the people who only threw their life away in the name of entertainment or self indulgence.

You know the type.

The “you only live once” types, the “life is short so do what you want to do without remorse” types…the free for all people who just go with the flow without regards of consequences that could result in the future. I was never any of these types of people; I was always the “think about the results first” type.

I was always boring…at least by their classifications.

Plainly put, I was different. But not by choice. I was different because I was raised differently. My line of reasoning stemmed heavily from the roots of Christianity, morality and the love of other people, which is the same thing. I’d watch everyone have a good time.

The partiers, the drinkers, the sex addicts, just all over the place doing anything and everything without remorse and without thought of what damage is being done to themselves and to those who care about them in their lives. While they “had fun” I would be in church.

While they had fun, I had to give my time to God. My body. My soul. My heart. My life…and it just didn’t seem fair.

It didn’t seem fair to me because with all of these things I’ve done to better myself, and did so by doing them, it seemed most people didn’t accept the goodness that was in me. I became that gentleman, that guy you know will always be there through it all, the one who apologizes for stuff he didn’t do just to save the friendship or the relationship.

I was….the nice guy.

The nice guy.

Always taking the higher road, even rebuilding entire highways when I wasn’t the one who destroyed them. Always being the first to forgive and then have to sit and listen to the forgivee take my words and throw them back at me, along with some new reasons for me to be upset with them.

Then, usually, because I was the nice guy, I’d lose the friendship. Or the relationship. Or even worse…lose it and then have to hear all the lies from third parties about how terrible I’ve been.

And because I was the nice guy, I refused to defend my character. A gentleman doesn’t entangle himself with the snares of rumors, he only keeps walking with his head held high, confident, that the lies don’t make him or describe him and that the truth will come out on its own…in time.

I used to question God about this.

Why did I have to be so different? Why could someone else slip up and take a drink but if I did it even once the world was coming to an end? Why did I have to forgive people who continue to do evil things behind my back with no intent to stop?

One day God answered me. He said “because you are a leader” and that’s when it hit me.

Being the nice guy was really the price of being a true leader in this world.

The leader doesn’t get noticed. The leader doesn’t get the credit when things go right. The leader can’t hold bitterness in his or her heart over anything…the leader can’t be like everyone else in the world. Why?

Because being the leader loses its affect when you blend in with the masses.

You’ll have to go through times where it doesn’t seem fair. You’ll be alone quite often, disappointed, hurt beyond all reason for no reason.

The leader has to work harder, think smarter, stretch longer and take the brunt of any attack that comes their way. The leader will forego perceived fun things for a higher morality, speak up when foolishness is in the building and stand up when no one has a hope left.

The leader is often cast down on a normal basis, so much, that it can often feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders and…people won’t respect you. They won’t like you. They won’t call you, they won’t talk to you, they’ll abandon you when you’re in need and call you crazy for not sacrificing your ideals.

So what is the point of being a leader?

For the seasons…

Seasons change.

Truth be told, they only criticized you because they want you to act a fool like them. Yet, they know you are an example and they know how to come to you when they get in trouble. Funny how the ones labeled square, boring or uptight are usually the best people to call when they need help.

After the help, suddenly, you’re not so boring or uptight anymore; suddenly, you just became the coolest person in the world to them.

You’re a leader, that’s why.

So now I embrace the different stance God has me on. When my friends tell me I need to lighten up and go to the strip club with them, it doesn’t phase me because I know that what they are doing is temporal and what I’m doing is eternal.

It doesn’t mean I’m boring. If anything, it just means I understand the price of being a true leader.