Q&A – Is good enough, enough?

I don’t know if I talk to my daughter enough. Or the right way. And I keep revisiting this issue over and over.  I’m still driving her around for 2 naps a day or at least we’re in the car. Blurg. I can’t get her to sleep otherwise. I’ve really utilized the time but I feel like an idiot after over 5 months. Just so desperate to keep night time sleep moving in a positive direction that I cling to the naps. I won’t even go into night time sleep.

Just wondering if you can help set me straight. I find I’m not hearing myself when I say I’m the perfect parent for my baby… Or that good enough is enough.

I’m sorry to hear you were having such a hard week. If it’s any consolation, I can honestly say that you are definitely not alone in the way you are feeling.

My best suggestions are these:

It’s likely that you are in need of some extra self-care right now. You are seriously sleep deprived which is leaving you so vulnerable to slipping to your mammal or even reptile brain. The guilt and self-doubt is just a form of “fight or flight” turned inward. Instead of fighting outwards (“I hate you, You stink, etc…) you are fighting inward.


Get some space. Give yourself a break today and do something that adds energy to your emotional system. Nature? Time with a girlfriend? Pedicure? Massage? Go fill up. It’s essential!


Catch the negative thoughts and consciously choose to turn your attention toward this present moment. Name things you see around you – windows, trees, carpet, chair, child, husband, kitchen, etc – Change the channel in your brain. Those thoughts are not serving you.

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Gratitudes! Write out a list of 50 to 100 things about your life that are working. Start simple – A house, a car that works, money to pay your bills, a healthy child… then go deeper. Really roll around in what’s working and how much goodness there is in your life. Your brain needs a re-boot and gratitudes are the quickest way to get there.
Get rid of the books! They are not serving you right now. Just shut them and turn towards your sweet daughter. She will guide you. You are not going to miss anything. You are not messing this up. That’s just your brain trying to get your attention because it’s feeling overwhelmed and panicked.

Try to get back into the moment, connect with yourself, connect with your daughter, savor this moment and let the books go for a while.