On fame, fortune, and the lack thereof

Ah...those were the days.
Just about a year ago, I was putting the finishing touches on my book -- and I had big plans.
I dreamed of becoming a best-selling author and pictured myself doing book tours, television and radio interviews. Maybe my memoir could become a TV movie or major motion picture!
Naturally I'd need an entourage if all that happened, so I carefully selected the members of my inner circle. I couldn't think of a better makeup artist than my former Mary Kay consultant and I promised my hair stylist I'd take her on the road. With hundreds of cops to choose from, I knew picking my security chief and a few body guards would be a piece of cake...
But by the time warm spring days and sultry summer nights finally began to yield to cooler autumn climes and I finally held the very first copy of my book in my hands, reality set in. Sure, I could have fame and fortune. The only question was -- at what cost?
I didn't write "Truth be Told: Adam Becomes Audrey" to "out" my ex-husband or to exploit him in any way. And I definitely don't want to exploit my own life.
So imagine my marketing gurus' disgust when I put the kibosh on any publicity involving social networking. "No Twitter? No Facebook? No way!" they practically screamed in incredulous email messages.
"Pitch the book to a select group of media outlets, colleges with classes specializing in gender studies, and mental health professionals," I told them. "We can pitch it to the general public too -- but only as a secondary strategy."
So far, the mainstream media pitches haven't resulted in the publicity I once envisioned -- and the last time I looked, my memoir ranked No.2,194,764 in books on amazon.com.
I still have my day job, but I also have my integrity. I guess super-stardom and world domination will just have to wait.
Until next time... "That's life"