What Might Have Been: The Benefits of Counter-Factual Thinking

Thinking about how things could have gone differently helps people make sense of their lives.

One of the mind's great talents is to simulate events that haven't happened. Projected into the future, our imaginative power helps us plan everything from our weekends to the construction of our homes and cities.

But when our minds turn towards the past, our ability to simulate alternative realities seems less useful. What use is it to imagine how things could have been? Do we not learn more from our pasts by analysing the reasons for either success or failure?

A recent study by Kray et al. (2010), though, demonstrates a role for thinking about what might have been that doesn't invoke that horrible word: regret.

Instead they wonder if thinking about what might have been actually helps us make more sense of our lives.

In the first of four studies they had students think about the sequence of events that had led them to attend that particular college. Half the participants then wrote about all the things that could have gone differently. Finally, everyone completed measures of meaning and significance of events in their lives.

The results showed that those who had considered counter-factuals—how their lives might have been different—gave higher ratings to the significance of their choice to attend that particular college and to how meaningful this was in their lives.

Psychologically, then, thinking about how life could have been different, made people feel that what did actually happen was more special in comparison.

In three mores studies they confirmed this finding and looked at what mechanisms connected counter-factual thinking with meaning-making. Two emerged:

Fate. Thinking about what might have been makes us feel that major events in our lives were 'fated'. This is because counter-factuals make you more aware of all the other things that could have happened.
Finding the upside. When people thought about counter-factuals, they noticed more positive aspects to the true chain of events. Many people were even able to find the upside of apparently negative events (things like: "If I hadn't broken my leg, I wouldn't have met my husband").

As Kray et al. conclude:

"Mentally veering off the path of reality, only briefly and imaginatively, forges key connections between what might have been and what was meant to be, thereby injecting our experiences and relationships with deeper meaning and significance."

Image credit: pedro veneroso

Making Habits, Breaking Habits

In his new book, Jeremy Dean--psychologist and author of PsyBlog--looks at how habits work, why they are so hard to change, and how to break bad old cycles and develop new healthy, creative, happy habits.

→ "Making Habits, Breaking Habits", is available now on Amazon.

Reviews

The Bookseller, “Editor’s Pick,” 10/12/12
“Sensible and very readable…By far the most useful of this month’s New You offerings.”


Kirkus Reviews, 1/1/13
“Making changes does take longer than we may expect—no 30-day, 30-pounds-lighter quick fix—but by following the guidelines laid out by Dean, readers have a decent chance at establishing fulfilling, new patterns.”


Publishers Weekly, 12/10/12
“An accessible and informative guide for readers to take control of their lives.”

→ "Making Habits, Breaking Habits", is available now on Amazon.