[Perry] Counterattack! Puzzle and Dragons

The gauntlet has been THROWN down, Tami and I will not let it pass without a response!

So this whole MinoMonsters thing seems cool and all. It’s got a lot of cute little monsters and I hear there are crates of the beasties and chains to break and you can get them to fight for you in some sort of depraved, Pokemon deathmatch, BLOOD-DRENCHED gladitorial arena…

But what about the rest of us, huh?

I speak not for the bloodthirsty pet battlers…but for the legions of us who want nothing more than to match colored gems together.

Is there not a game for the disenfranchised?

Is there not a game where we can fulfill our collect ‘em all urge AND wage a a peaceful war against the computer controlled denizens of strangely named dungeons?

I say to you now, yes we can!

Puzzle and Dragons is a mobile game I randomly picked up that’s completely destroying my soul and somebody help me stop before I…

…Uh…I mean, it’s a charming and not addictive game at all and we should all play together.

As friends.

Yes. As friends.

It’s essentially what you would get if Pokemon bought a couple of nice roses and invited Bejewelled out for a night of dinner and dancing before bringing Bejewelled back to the his place for a bottle of wine by the fire and then they just decided to see where the night took them.

Do you like collecting monsters? Cause there’s a metric crapton of monsters to do all the collecting with and the evolving and if there was some sort of deranged, mad scientist monster breeding functionality somewhere down the line, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Do you have the strange and insatiable urge to match colored gems together? Cause that’s all you do. You match gems together to heal and to attack and whatnot. And when you set things up just right and all these gems are cascading and matching themselves as they fall and there’s little chiming sound effects and sparkly lights, it lights up the centers in your brain that goes nuts when you win something at a slot machine in a casino.

Do you like adding random strangers to your friends lists and then never talking to them at all but occasionally using their treasured pet to do battle for you and sometimes ‘stalk’ someone’s pet to keep an eye on how they’re taking care of their pet and maybe wondering why they changed out a stronger pet you liked them having to a weaker pet you totally want to snub them for?

…>.>”

That question can essentially be boiled down to “Do you use Facebook?”. Cause IF YOU DO, there’s some of that in this game too…I guess…kinda.

DO YOU LIKE TUGGING ON A DINOSAUR’S LITTLE FOREARM AND FEEDING THEM A BUNCH OF SHINY ROCKS SO THAT THEY SPIT OUT AN EGG AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE A SILVER EGG WITH A STAR ON IT AND YOU GET ALL EXCITED AND WHEN IT HATCHES IN A BIG SHINY ANIMATION YOU GET THESE BIG LETTERS GOING VERY RARE!!!! AND YOUR INNER CHILD DOES A LITTLE DANCE INSIDE YOUR HEAD?

…And then fuelled by the screaming voice inside your head, you frantically throw all the rest of your shiny rocks at the slot machine dinosaur and he just spits out a bunch of random junk pets that you already had and you get your hopes all dashed but you still want to throw more shiny rocks at him because MAYBE NEXT TIME, you’ll win the jackpot?

Man, if you’re into that stuff at all, let me tell you, this is totally the game for you.

I don’t have a problem.

Nope.

Not even a little bit.

Puzzle and Dragons is available for both the Android and iPhone so unlike MinoMonsters (which a certain authoress may or may not have told me to totally play and friend her, only for me to find out that it was iPhone only and crushed my little gaming heart), it can be enjoyed by everyone, regardless of their cell phone allegiance!

…Except for maybe Blackberry.

…Do they even have an app store for Blackberry?

*strolls off to check*

No, they have an app store but no Puzzle and Dragons.

So anyone whose allegiance lies with iPhone or Android can join me in the downward spiral of addiction.

…I mean, join me in my happyfuntimes playing this wonderful game which I totally don’t regret downloading and don’t desperately want to stop playing.

*yanks on the golden dragons arm*

….Drat.

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