Learning about myself from strangers

I’ve been doing a lot of promotional stuff for my book over the past two months, and I can’t believe how much I’ve learned. Which pales next to how much I still have to learn, but that’s basically my life in a nutshell.

One of things I found out fairly quickly is that while people are interested in my book once they find out it exists, they are far more interested in finding out about me. So while I’ve been focused on promoting my book, what I should be promoting more is myself. People like to know the person behind the words, and even though my book is made up of essays which are largely personal, people seem to instinctively know that there’s more. And there’s always more.

So while no one should put every personal thought and detail on display for the entire world to see (Hi, Facebook!), I’m quickly learning that as a writer, I need to be willing to let people get closer to me as a person. One woman who was at one of my book signings and had already read the book on her Kindle said that when she finished it, she felt like she was my best friend. She couldn’t have said anything that pleased me more.

As a longtime journalist, I’m adept at getting others to talk about themselves. Now I’m learning how important it is to the book promotion process to be willing to talk about myself. When someone who has read about my infertility struggles or my divorce, then sees me at a talk or a book signing and wants to tell me how she related to what I said, I need to be willing to open a little wider.

Meeting people, talking about my book and my life and my writing, has actually opened me up to myself a little more as well. I can write an essay about something personal, publish it, then walk away. When people ask me about what I’ve written, I’m forced to think about it more, to peel off more layers, to get past what I wrote and uncover why I wrote it. That kind of frank openness, the willingness to be a little vulnerable, is what lets people relate to me, to feel like they know me, to read what I’ve written and walk away feeling like they’re my best friend. My goal is to reach the point where, when people hear my name, they say “Oh yes, Christy Potter. The writer. I love her stuff.” That frees me, as a writer, to go wherever the Muse takes me. I’m not a book, I’m not a style, I’m not a genre. I’m a writer. It’s a simple but incredibly valuable lesson I’ve learned over the past few weeks, and I’ve learned it from my readers. Wow. Just…wow.

All that said, I’ve been doing more speaking engagements lately, both at book signings and at group and corporate events, discussing my journey as a writer. I’ve also started a series of podcasts called “Going Gray,” in which I just talk about whatever has been going on in my life. They are companion pieces to this blog, but more relaxed and chatty. If this blog is me on stage, the podcasts are meeting me for a drink after the show. If you click on the button to the right, you’ll pop over to the podcast page where you can listen to them right on your computer. You can also find me on iTunes.

Thank you, everyone, for the important part of my journey that you have been and will always be. I hope you’ll continue to read me, listen to me, and tell your friends about me. Because obviously, I couldn’t do it without you.