Not Talking About Bad Reviews

I’m not going to talk about bad reviews. Every writer has had this experience, I expect. It’s nothing unique, to read the sort of cruel, mean-spirited review designed to destroy the little pleasure a writer has in her writing—that is, sharing it with a reader. Bullies are everywhere. It’s not like they’re all hanging around the teeter-totter on the school playground. I mean, they must grow up, right?

I’m not going to talk about bullies, either, or try to describe what it feels like to have a stranger attack you—sort of like that Gary Larson Far Side Cartoon, a deer hiding behind a tree, and a hunter’s raising his rifle, and the deer’s thinking, “What’s going on? Do I know this guy? Think!” I need to find a copy of that cartoon and tape it to the wall next to my computer.

It is weird, like you’re walking in the grocery story, and you pass a stranger loading spaghetti sauce into his basket, and all of the sudden he turns around and punches you in the stomach. That’s what it feels like. Naturally you are going to avoid the spaghetti aisle after that! I was starting to feel like I wanted to avoid Goodreads, so I wouldn’t accidently read something so ugly and mean it made me want to quit writing all together, and not even hang around talking about books. Because I didn’t want to put myself into the path of a bully who might mistake me for an easy target. But I’m not going to talk about that, either.

The reason why I’m not going to talk about any of this is I was just downstairs in my apartment building, and I had my Nissan Cube stuffed to the gills with boxes of books. I was unloading them from the car to take into my new apartment. And a neighbor walked by, and saw me, and started picking up boxes of books and helping me put them into the elevator. And then another neighbor came by and pitched in, without a word. Just a smile. And by the time I got the books unloaded into my new place, and opened a few boxes and played with my lovely books, I remembered that most people are the ‘pitch in and help without a word’ sort of people, and there are a lot more of them out in the beautiful world.

So that means I can start on my new story, without feeling more than the usual amount of dread in my stomach that I’m about to be punched out in the spaghetti aisle. I just drove fourteen hours in the last two days to fetch my lovely books, and fourteen hours is good for at least a novella: something new and fun and unusual for me, Mari Moto’s Magical Dragon. And when it’s done, I’ll put it up on my Goodreads blog in case any of my neighbors might like to read a good story.
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Published on May 26, 2013 10:42 Tags: mari-moto-s-magical-dragon, sarah-black
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message 1: by AnnaLund (new)

AnnaLund Please say hi to your new neighbors from me. And thank them. Because they showed you that there are good people out there.
Please start a new story.


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

AnnaLund wrote: "Please say hi to your new neighbors from me. And thank them. Because they showed you that there are good people out there.
Please start a new story."


Thank you for the kind words- I feel very lucky today to have run into kind people everywhere I go!


message 3: by AnnaLund (new)

AnnaLund Sarah wrote: "Thank you for the kind words- I feel very lucky today to have run into kind people everywhere I go!
"


There are stupid people everywhere. Never let that make you forget that there are also fine people out there who appreciate you, even if they might not be as wordy as the others.
(I'm still in love with Kim, by the way).


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

AnnaLund wrote: "Sarah wrote: "Thank you for the kind words- I feel very lucky today to have run into kind people everywhere I go!
"

There are stupid people everywhere. Never let that make you forget that there a..."


Kim keeps surprising me! I just saw the new Star Trek movie and I kept watching for young Mr. Cho, who played Sulu- he has such wonderful facial expressions, stopping just this side of rolling his eyes at his Captain- Kim is rolling his eyes at his uncle a lot in the new story


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

Vladimir wrote: "There's this saying that goes:

“Fundamentally, to be happy you have to bear the burden of an equal amount of misery. To get something good, you have to put up with something bad.”

I guess there's..."


Thanks, I agree with you to focus on the positive side- so simple, and completely in our own control. I've been thinking about Tibetan Buddhism- not sure I'm saying it correctly- life is suffering, and the source of all suffering is desire. But when I think about that too much, I just want to take a nap!


Ije the Devourer of Books I always take other people's reviews with a pinch of salt. Reading is just such a personal experience. I have taken part in buddy reads and found that my fellow readers have had a really exciting reading experience whilst at the same time I was bored and couldn't see why they were excited. Sometimes it works the other way and I have really loved a book and friends have read the same book and hated it. When I read reviews I always remember that people see things differently. Haing said this I do think that if people are giving a book a bad review then they should do so constructively and not spitefully.

I have read a few of your books and really enjoyed them. I also have a pile of your books in my to read queue. Remember there are so many of us out there who really appreciate your books. I take great pleasure from your writing and I am looking forward to reading more from you in the future as well as reading through the pile I have waiting for me :)


message 7: by [deleted user] (last edited May 27, 2013 08:28AM) (new)

Ije the TweetAway Queen wrote: "I always take other people's reviews with a pinch of salt. Reading is just such a personal experience. I have taken part in buddy reads and found that my fellow readers have had a really exciting r..."

Thanks for the kind words, and I'm so happy you are reading my stories!

And I didn't mean to suggest negative reviews are anything other than a difference of opinion. Everyone has their opinions, and everyone has books they love the most and can't stand- I have read TS Eliot a million times and still can't figure out what he's talking about!

But occasionally a hate-monger will sneak into the group, and appear to enjoy so much a public trashing, not just kicking you into the mud, but grinding his boot in your face. Hiding behind cleverness and avatars, bullies are still bullies, and I don't believe in ignoring bullies. So I ignore them and they get bored with me and turn to someone else? The thought that I stood by and ignored a bully so as not to invite further attack, and he keeps doing it to others, bothers me a great deal.

Not sure what to do about it, though. There are a number of structures in place for children who are victimized by bullies, but I've never heard any guidance for adults about how to handle a personal attack, other than good manners and grace under fire.

I'll just put this on my list of world problems to solve! Now where did I put that red cape?


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Sarah! Hope you are settling in well to your new place and new town, it is so nice to start out ina new place knowing you have good people around you...As for bad reviews...Well some people might not get what you are trying to say with your books, some migjht get it but don't have the right sensibility for it, just know that for some of us your books are stories to be treasured! Off to read about Mari Moto!

XOXO


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