Pass the Dessert, Keep the Blind Date

As I was writing Love Contract, I pondered all sorts of dating scenarios that I could put one of my main characters, Adrian Anderson in.  In the story, his mother, Norma Jean “Jeannie” Anderson, doesn’t think, she knows, that she is a bonifide matchmaker.  After all, she has been blessed to have found her soul mate, so why shouldn’t she try and grace her son (and everyone else) with that kind of happiness?  Adrian’s friends call Norma Jean “The Love Broker.” Because if you’re single, and breathing, at some point and time she is going to try and fix you up.  What Jeannie is oblivious to is that fact that most of her “dream” dates that she sets people up on end in some type of disaster or mishap.  Over the years, Adrian has taken a lot of ribbing from his buddies over his mother’s machinations so I wanted to make sure that I brought in some of that frustration he was feeling as he tries time and time again to get his mother to stay out of his love life.  When I had to come up with some of Adrian’s blind-dates-gone-bad, it got me thinking about a few of my own.  Granted, I’d never had anything happen to me on the scale that Adrian has had to deal with, but still it got me thinking about a few dates that I would be more than happy to forget ever occurred. In a 2000 edition of Ebony Magazine, Kelly Starling said that, “Everybody knows the pressure of a first date: Searching for that perfect outfit. Hunting for ways to be engaging. Dissecting each detail when it's over to check for mistakes. Dating can make even the most confident person lose his cool.”  When I was in my late twenties, I vividly recall taking a dip in the Blind Date pool.  It was actually on a few not-so-subtle suggestions from my friends, and as Kelly stated, I had the signature “uniform” for that first blind date.  If it was a casual affair, I had a cool floral dress (floral was popular in the late 1990’s) that stopped just above my ankle.  I’m six-feet tall, so I get excited when anything gets even remotely close to my ankle!  For the more dressy date, I had a black, knit dress with a scoop neck, and long sleeves.  It was very flattering, never wrinkled, and was also long.  It was my favorite dress, and I didn’t have to ask, I KNEW I looked good in it.  A friend set me up on a blind date, and after much pondering I decided what the heck, I’ll go.  I like to call myself an introvert, with extrovert-like qualities.  Basically, I’m a home body and the thought of going out mingling with people that I don’t know is not high up on my To-Do list, but when I need to pull it out I can.  The man in question calls me, and for the life of me I can’t recall his name now so for the sake of this blog…his name is James.  James calls me, we chat that lovely polite, perky chat most people do when they don’t know each other and they’re about to meet, and we make arrangements to go out to “dinner.”  I follow the blind date guidelines, describe myself, what I’ll be wearing, and drive myself to the designated rendezvous with pepper spray (you could carry it back then) and enough cash to cover my dinner…just in case.“Dinner” turns out to be James’ company Christmas party.  You heard me; my blind date decides to take me to his company Christmas party!  Complete with a boss…coworkers…their spouses.  You get the picture.  I decide to make the best of the situation and plop myself down at a table with James, and about four other couples and try to make it appear as though James and I didn’t just meet seven minutes ago.  To quote Jerry Seinfeld, “Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?”  The funny thing is my ‘interview’ wasn’t with James, who was very busy laughing and chatting with the guests at the table (all of which he knew), my Q&A session for the evening was with the woman sitting next to me.  It seems she too was at the dinner as a date (a blind one) with another employee.  Once we figured out we had that in common, we chatted over the obligatory chicken, green beans, and roasted potatoes while comparing date notes.  On occasion, James would lean over to inquire how I was doing, and if I was having a good time.  Was he kidding!?  An hour and a half later, the party was winding down and people were starting to leave.  I said goodnight to my blind-date-solidarity-sister, and wished her a Merry Christmas and Happy New Date.  After they left, James asked me if I was ready to leave.  Uh…yep! 

We get outside, and he walks me to my car.  We trade more pleasantries, and by that time I’m very much aware that there is no chemistry between us, no spark, not even dessert.  And I love dessert!  As I wave goodbye and drive away, my first reaction is to be annoyed at the whole situation, but I can’t.  Despite the less than ideal circumstances surrounding my blind date, I did have something to do on a Friday night, I did meet new people, and I did make the best of a less than ideal situation by keeping my sense of humor.  It was Christmastime, too and we all know how that time of the year tends to put a person in a great mood.  As does stopping and getting a slice of Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog!