The Chain
I was cleaning out my closet yesterday and came across a letter from my ex which, for some reason, I hadn't thrown away. It was written when we were separated and not yet divorced, when he was still trying to get me back. It was a cruel note, which he somehow thought would be compelling; part of the plan he was enacting to cut off all avenues for my independence and make me go back to him. I have to admit, the words still stung a little.
"...I don't think you realize how vulnerable you are, Rebecca. You have no skills, no training, no real significant intelligence. You can't balance a checkbook and didn't even finish college. You're hoping your talent will be enough to get by. I'm sorry, but it's not. You'll have to leave your "beloved New York" because there's no way you can make it there. You need someone to take care of you. Seriously, you're like a naive child thinking you can do it on your own. That's one of the things I love about you, this dream world you live in. But it's not safe for you to be on your own. You won't find another man who could handle all your faults, sweetie. I love you despite them. Don't you understand? You need me. I want to take care of you. You need to let me do that. I want it more than I can say. Enough of this. I love you.
Peter"
The funny thing is, the vicious nature of the letter probably never even occurred to him. He was just gently reprimanding his pretty but stupid, vacuous wife who dared to leave him. It was a short time later that his cajoling turned to revenge for the audacity of choosing poverty over him and his money. That's a fascinating thing about the arrogant who have money: they resent when you don't revere it.
I look at all I've accomplished since I changed that toxic environment I lived in. My book got published, I've been on radio and TV, I've been fortunate to help other people. The ex might scoff that I'm not a best seller, but FREAK has done some good for people, and that is a price above rubies. And I'm just getting started.
So don't let the poisonous words of others, despite how softly they're wrapped, keep you from following your dreams. Insecurity loves a good abusive dialogue. There are few things better to keep you chained.
Take care.
R
"...I don't think you realize how vulnerable you are, Rebecca. You have no skills, no training, no real significant intelligence. You can't balance a checkbook and didn't even finish college. You're hoping your talent will be enough to get by. I'm sorry, but it's not. You'll have to leave your "beloved New York" because there's no way you can make it there. You need someone to take care of you. Seriously, you're like a naive child thinking you can do it on your own. That's one of the things I love about you, this dream world you live in. But it's not safe for you to be on your own. You won't find another man who could handle all your faults, sweetie. I love you despite them. Don't you understand? You need me. I want to take care of you. You need to let me do that. I want it more than I can say. Enough of this. I love you.
Peter"
The funny thing is, the vicious nature of the letter probably never even occurred to him. He was just gently reprimanding his pretty but stupid, vacuous wife who dared to leave him. It was a short time later that his cajoling turned to revenge for the audacity of choosing poverty over him and his money. That's a fascinating thing about the arrogant who have money: they resent when you don't revere it.
I look at all I've accomplished since I changed that toxic environment I lived in. My book got published, I've been on radio and TV, I've been fortunate to help other people. The ex might scoff that I'm not a best seller, but FREAK has done some good for people, and that is a price above rubies. And I'm just getting started.
So don't let the poisonous words of others, despite how softly they're wrapped, keep you from following your dreams. Insecurity loves a good abusive dialogue. There are few things better to keep you chained.
Take care.
R
No comments have been added yet.
