Say what you like about me–but don’t mess with my women

The Magic of Middle-Aged Women has gotten some wonderful reviews on amazon.com, which I will brag about at another time. However, one said that the women whose life stories comprise the book are “sad.” I take violent exception to that.

I met every woman in the book on a dating site (I posted asking for stories and opinions for the book).  Most (but not all) people on dating sites are not happy.  They are looking to fill an important hole in their lives.  The process is often lengthy and unpleasant.  It’s not only that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince; you get excited about each frog, so the disappointment on meeting him is acute, and gets worse with each passing amphibian.  But the quest is so important that most continue kissing and retching.  A number of the women I met were newly out of a recent failed relationship or marriage, so they came to the game pre-agitated.

Who is “happy” in such a situation?  Only the emotionally cauterized and mentally incompetent.

It’s a shame the reviewer didn’t keep reading.  Women who have the fiber to talk with passion and candor about their love lives don’t sit still.  They push ahead.  (I saw: I was in touch with them for years.)  Not all outcomes were happy–where in life are they?– but most were, and some were dramatically better, and in very different ways, ranging from traditional second marriages (with much more appropriate mates) to spectacularly kinky lifestyles. Everyone thought herself better off–and a better partner–now than when she was nubile.

Sad?  A better word would be “inspiring.”