Twelve Things I Learned My First Week As A Published Author

1. People you never expected to contact you will do so with kindness and enthusiasm, and sometimes with chocolate. 

2. People you expected to contact you, will not.

3. Urgent Care Centers will be open in the middle of the night even when your book has launched just in case your 21-year-old cuts his finger on a broken glass at 1 am.

4. Photos will pour in from all over the country with sightings of the novel you wrote. Sometimes you won’t even know the people who snapped and sent the photo. 

5. Someone will criticize your story and then say she read it in one day because she couldn’t put it down, making your head spin. 

6. You will check Amazon rankings even though everyone has said the numbers don’t matter.

7. Amazon rankings will delight and/or destroy you (sometimes in the same hour) even though everyone has said that the numbers don’t matter. 

8. Washing machines will leak. Because they can. 

9. Sleep will elude you, except in the middle of the day.

10. Speaking to a group of high school creative writing students (daughter included) will be the highlight of the week. 

11. You will receive many teacup gifts, and hope that your publisher puts jewelry on your next book cover (fingers crossed). Or a tropical island. 

12. You will realize that this is the best job for you, just like you imagined. 

Best launch party napkin ever!