Have Nots, TheHave Nots are not usually seen, but smelled...

Have Nots, TheHave Nots are not usually seen, but smelled. Follow apath of reeking patchouli and one finds—huddledon a streetside curb, smoking a grape-flavored bidicigarette, right hand open and pleading for change or“buds,” left hand strumming back a wayward dreadlock—the Have Not. Have Nots can also be recognized by theirparticular call which sounds eerily and exactly the sameas Hey bro, can I get a ride? Not all Have Nots are trueHave Nots, but are actually Haves in disguise. SometimesHaves wish that they were actually Have Nots. Forexample, some Haves find their way to college campuseswhere they pick up the guitar (see Guitarist, The, pg.64) and subsequently attempt to foil esteemless femaleswith their wooing cadences about water, or waterfalls, orrivers, or lakes, and the dreamy shores thereupon. Theseimpostors are not actually Have Nots, but Haves thathave been seduced by the romantic legend surroundingHave Nots. While these Haves say to you, sorry, brother,I haven’t any change, they are, at the same time, foundcellphoning their Have parents while said Have parentsmeander a Mercedes or Cadillac around a metropolispeopled primarily by those in between the Haves andHave Nots (see Human, A, pg. 70). True Have Nots arein fact quite a rarity in North America and Europe, butcan be found in vast numbers on all the other of Earth’scontinents. The true Have Nots of a subcontinent suchas India can also be found puffing a bidi, but as opposedto dreadlocks, what little hair they may have is turbanedunder a turban. The Have Nots of Sub-Saharan Africaare in pursuit of potable water, as opposed to the NorthAmerican variety of the faux Have Not, who is in constantsearch for the next jam band. All artificial Have Nots arefans of jam bands.