Ring The Bell It's Time To Sell!

It seems, which is no surprise, you humans will sell anything whether it is nailed down or flies. But some really take the cake as in the dough they try to rake. Some are also really sick in the head and should never even get out of bed.

Look what I have for sale!
It will make you wail.
So hit the trail.
I need help to pay my bail.

Elderly parents going for cheap.
Can even be bought by a creep.
Willing to consider trades in lieu of cash.
Get here fast and make a quick dash.

I have two kids ready to go.
Yeah, who cares if i'm a sicko.
They are $4000 each.
Damn! I went to jail for being such a peach.

I'll sell you a part of me,
How about a kidney?
$100,00 bucks gets you one slightly used.
It's barely been abused.

Britney Spears used gum.
It's been chewed and then some.
Be the first to hold it in your hand,
It will only cost 14 grand.

Get your UFO detector today.
Right from Amazon's bay.
It will keep the probe away,
Allowing you to have a nice day.

Shatner passed a kidney stone,
Through his old bone.
And it went for 20 grand.
My, humans are idiots across the land.

Oswald's first casket is up for sale,
Someone clearly hit the third rail.
Paying 87 grand for an old smelly box,
Probably with rotten locks.

A grilled cheese,
If you please?
Wait! It has the face of the virgin Mary.
28 grand it will be, don't be contrary.

And for a mere $3.26,
Even if you live in the sticks,
You can buy the meaning of life.
I'm sure that would impress your wife.

All are actual things people bought or tried to sell, further proving many humans are going to hell. I'll sell some fur for a wig? A big hole I will dig? Heck, I'll just sell some petrified crap that looks like some famous chap. I'll get bills in mass just for something that came out my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.