Power of hugs

All hail the power of a hug

 

A couple Decembers ago, a group from our local Happiness Club went to the mall to pass out Free Hugs. We had signs and candy, and pure sweet love in our hearts. It was uncomfortable as we pondered it and then we all just relaxed. Once the hugging commenced, we were surprised by the welcome reception. Boys and girls and men and women of all ages and ethnicity were open to a hug.

Those in our group who thought that hugging a stranger would be weird were relieved to find out that it was not. Even some who had come along just to take pictures ended up joining in the compassion ritual.

Our stint passing out hugs didn’t last long. One kiosk vendor called the security guard because he said we blocking people from coming into his area. We moved but the security person was new and didn’t know how to handle this happy group of huggers.

She demanded that we show our permit. I didn’t know we needed a permit to hug.

The mall manager was called down and although he ultimately did make us cease and desist, he did agree to a hug.

I sometimes tell the story that I hugged a man in July 2007 who had a big dream of becoming president. Like him or not, the power of my hug is what landed Barack Obama in office.

Recently I was in San Diego for a conference and that night was the first ever American Laughing Championships. I hugged my friend Julie in the elevator right before she entered the ballroom for the competition. Julie Ostrow is now the America’s best laugher. All hail the power of a hug.

Yes, I’m being slightly silly here, but there is power in our compassion. That’s what hugs transmit. It is the human connection.

My college boy son in Arizona was hit by a car while riding his bicycle. Even though he was not seriously injured, the thought of him so far away getting hurt made me weak. As he recounted it all by phone to me, he said, “Yeah, some lady from the car behind the guy that hit me stayed with me and hugged me. That was nice.” My tears of mom-anxiety turned to tears of gratitude. I am forever grateful to that stranger for hugging my son.

My son accepted that ritual of compassion willingly and found comfort. That’s what hugs do.

Hugs convey consolation and congratulations; we hug in sorrow and in joy; we hug to say I’m sorry, I missed you, I like you, I love you. We hug our friends and we hug our lovers; we hug our teachers and our co-workers; we hug someone we haven’t seen in a while and we hug someone we have just met.

That’s when I ask for permission. I may be chatting with someone and when it’s time to part, if I feel the urge to hug, I ask if it’s okay. I have never been denied.

You open your arms in a little semicircle and embrace another human being. According to Virginia Satir: We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.

There’s science to back up the power of hugging. Oxytocin and serotonin, etc. I know it simply to be one ritual where we are giving and receiving at the same time. Maybe that is why hugs allow us to grow.

Hug. It’s a little bitty word and the act has a phenomenal impact. Try it. All hail the power of a hug.

(Kelly Epperson Simmons is an author/speaker/coach who gets wonderful hugs every day from her Prince Charming. Kelly helps people birth their books at www.kellyepperson.com or call toll free 888-637-3563)