Three Keys to a Mom’s Heart

AFFECTION

“. . . let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18).

Everyone craves affection: children, animals, adults––especially the elderly who may feel overlooked and misunderstood. One of the most important things we can do to honor our mothers is to show affection. My friend Ruth often mentions her regret over her visits to her mother before she died. “I wish I had held her hand more often. She was nearly blind and deaf during the final weeks. My touch would have meant so much––even more than my words.”

Even when it feels unnatural or awkward to express affection for someone who has been abusive or distant, God can provide the grace we need to take the high road, and to be a vessel of His love. A touch, a kiss, a warm embrace—even for a second––can melt the coldest heart. Ask the Lord for His love and then dispense it freely to your mother and watch it come back to you, if not from her, certainly from God Himself.

ATTENTION

“A cheerful heart is good medicine . . .” (Proverbs 17:22).

I remember when my mother was in a nursing home in California, one of the things she most enjoyed was a little bag of French fries from a nearby fast food restaurant. My sister and I would wheel her across the parking lot and into the side door. She woke up to the fragrance of the sizzling food, and though she couldn’t speak intelligibly anymore she responded well to sensory details—sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touch. She thrived on bits of attention so we did everything we could to keep her going. We massaged her hands with lavender lotion, painted her nails a pretty pink, made sure she enjoyed a shampoo and hair set each week. Small actions that showed her we loved and cared about her even though we could no longer carry on a conversation.

APPRECIATION

“. . . do not despise your mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22).

Our mothers also long for two simple words––thank you. For that matter, who doesn’t? We all want to be appreciated for who we are and what we do. Elderly mothers, often feeling unimportant and even useless after years of productive living, crave a few well-chosen words of gratitude for all they did.But if your mother is among those who didn’t do much of anything for you, you can still send her a card with a line or two that tells her you are thankful for the gift of life. Honoring our mothers includes giving thanks. When it’s difficult to muster those words, once again, turn your heart and mind to God and thank Him for giving you life—through your mother.