Nostepinnes and other unmentionables

 

 

I HAVE JUST FRELLING ORDERED A FRELLING [YARN] SWIFT AND A FRELLING FRELLING NOSTEPINNE.  Two days ago I didn’t know what a nostepinne was.  I think I’ve seen the word somewhere and assumed I was too young/old and that ignorance might not be bliss but was probably better for the blood pressure and the too easily over-stimulated fantasy-writer’s imagination.*  And then I brought up the yarn bowl question on Twitter the other night and someone else started talking about her nostepinne and I’m like whoa, are you sure you want to discuss this in public? **

Diane in MN

Does anyone out there have any useful guidelines for when you cut your losses and frog again and when you soldier on

A glance around my house would reveal that I can tolerate a lot of imperfection in some areas, but I HATE visible mistakes in my knitting and will rip (or tink, if I catch any soon enough) back to get rid of them. More than once, if necessary and if the yarn will take it, if I like the project.

I don’t think I’m a perfectionist about anything any more***.  Spending a lot of time and effort at something you’re essentially pretty awful at—let’s say bell ringing—will do that to a person.†  But I agree about actual errors.  Part One of this particular project has only one really gruesome error which I think would disappear when I got to the seaming-up stage, supposing I got that far—and I left it in because I had NO idea what I had done and therefore no idea how to undo it.  But especially on something that is, for me, relatively small-gauge, which is to say 4 mm needles [US size 6], and a non-stretchy yarn, which is this cotton-bamboo stuff I’ve made several baby bibs in and I like it but it’s not very forgiving, the—ahem!—slight variability of my stitch-making starts to show up over time and distance.  I ripped out my first couple of bibs once each, but they ended up not too embarrassing.††  This New Secret Project is bigger and . . . well.  So I’ve got to the end of Part One and put the wretched thing on a stitch holder—it’s getting so that every time I order yarn††† I automatically order another pair or packet of stitch holders‡—rolled it up and put it aside.  I’ll think about it later.

Which leaves me with only ::urglemmph:: other unfinished projects and therefore of course I need to start something NEW!!!!

Which is going to be Manos del Doohickey—I’ve left the tag back at the cottage‡‡—and it’s mostly silk with some wool so it’s NOT VERY STRETCHY again, uh-oh‡‡‡, but I want to make myself a LARGE SQUARE (SOMEWHAT) WOOLLY SCARF.  Because I’m tired of how difficult it is to find Large Square Wool Scarves.  And the reason this is the particular New Project that leaped to mind—despite the small-gauge-unstretchy thing—is because it will be ACRES AND ACRES OF MINDLESS GARTER STITCH YAAAAAAAAAY.  I’m always amused at these high-falutin’ knitters on Ravelry going on about how this or that pattern is too boring because there’s too much garter/stockinette/ribbing.  I LOVE GARTER/STOCKINETTE/RIBBING.  I tend to knit to calm down.  I don’t want to have to think!  I don’t want to have to memorize a frelling pattern!  I don’t want to figure out why my sleeve-shaping decreases look like tiny stairs rather than a nice smooth line like in the frelling photos!  I just want to keep looping the yarn around the needles!!!

But first I need to wind these wretched hanks into something I can use. . . .

* * *

* I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I nostepinne in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Not all of Monty Python is totally deathless and mesmerising, in my cranky^ opinion, but I would have trampled a few grandmothers to have written that particular piece of dialogue.  Although some of my attitude problem may be due to having a few issues with Monty Python.  For some reason.  I mean, it could have been Sir Rupert.  For example.

Minstrel: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away…

Sir Robin: *No!*

Minstrel: [singing] bravely ran away away…

Sir Robin: *I didn’t!*

Minstrel: [singing] When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

Sir Robin: *I never did!*

Minstrel: [singing] Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

Sir Robin: *Oh, you liars!*

Minstrel: [singing] Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin.

^ And easily grossed out.  Just by the way.

** http://blog.designedlykristi.com/?p=335

Oh.  Okay.

*** Although I still want my socks to match what I’m wearing, even if nobody but me is going to see them.  Or nobody but me, Peter and the hellcritters none of whom care.  I care.

† Circumstances are not helpful.  Last Wednesday due to the very mixed assortment of ringers who turned up for practise I rang ONCE.  ONCE.  I got a lot of knitting done.  Speaking of knitting.  On Sunday afternoon there were eight of us.  Which meant we all had to ring all of the time.  Which since most of us were the weak end was a trifle challenging for the ringing master and I was somewhat drily amused to note that I was being relied on to hold it together in a way that I would not have been if he’d had any choice.  You know I would get to holding-it-together better sooner if I got more practise time in.  Sigh.

††  And I finally asked one of the recipients if the thing, you know, WORKED?  Because babies keep getting born, in the alarmingly incessant way of babies, and bibs are something I can, apparently, do.  Yes, he said.  It’s very chewable, and it goes through the washing machine fine.

††† Not that this would be often or anything

‡ And another frelling tape measure.  What do I DO with tape measures?!?  Is there a Tape Measure Planet like there is an Odd Sock Planet?

‡‡ Oh please.  What is Google, chopped liver?

http://www.artesanoyarns.co.uk/Manos%20Del%20Uruguay/manos%20del%20uruguay.html

‡‡‡ McKinley, not that we expect you to be relentlessly intelligent or anything, but the two most outstanding unfinished projects^—which is to say well enough started to count as ‘unfinished’, which are First Cardi and First Pullover, are NICE REASONABLY LARGE GAUGE STRETCHY FORGIVING WOOL, you meatloaf, why don’t you go FINISH ONE OF THEM?^^

^ Plus legwarmers.  I think I’m on my fifth pair.  You know this weather may be my fault.  It’s the middle of May, WE MAY HAVE AN OVERNIGHT FROST LATER THIS WEEK+, and I’m knitting legwarmers.

+ And I am not going to dig up my petunias/begonias/gladiolas/dahlias/osteospermums, so I hope they FRELLING COPE.  Maybe I could lay some legwarmers over them.

^^ And the current not-given-up-on-yet Secret Project is also mostly wool.