Getting awfully quiet round here…

You’d almost think something dire was going on, but actually, it’s been a pretty good month, all things considered. I’m in the midst of writing a romance novel, which I’ll ramble about here in a moment. I have to admit, the weather shifts have made concentrating a lot harder. Also, with the daytime weather being warmer, I spend more time on the balcony tending my garden, and of course the puppy needs to be walked. With the afternoons being warmer, we take longer routes around the area, and I think we’ve scouted out every dog park in a two-mile radius.

This is a little hard on my hips and lower back, but I know I need the exercise, so I just slip on my headphones, get lost in the music, and let my mind wander. Sometimes I think about stories I still want to write, and sometimes I think about the books I’m reading from other people. And sometimes I just watch other people and wonder what their stories are like.

I’ve been trying to read my manga too, with limited success. Part of my problem in picking up Italian is, I’m rarely outside of the house, and I only talk to hubby, who reverts to English whenever he’s home. It’s weird how I can get the gist of conversations I hear, but I can’t speak or write the language very well. Reading is extremely challenging because it seems I’ve only just begun when I get a kind of pop in my brain, and then I’m mentally fatigued and in need of a nap.

Writing doesn’t do this to me, but I get get the same mental fatigue when I’m editing. It’s like writing takes place in an undamaged part of my brain, and learning or working on recalling the myriad rules of grammar and style taxes part of my brain where I’ve got plaque scars.

Anywho, reading for pleasure doesn’t do this to me either, but I read to “study” other books and I have noticed how that can also tire me quickly. Plus, despite lots of practice, I don’t read any faster. So I actually write books faster than I read them. If it didn’t take so long to edit them, I could probably drop out a story a month.

Speaking of writing, I want to get back around to the romance WIP. I’m up to 48K and although my muse is joking about turning the main character into some kind of supernatural creature in a “shocking” final twist, it’s not a paranormal story. I wanted to make a story with a romantic triangle that didn’t end in a “choose one” plot, and I didn’t want the characters to be mega rich, or all chiseled perfection. While I was at it, I didn’t like “fading to black” to avoid sex. These things are all fine, and I know why they sell well. I just wanted to do a story that didn’t follow those guidelines.

What the muse has turned over is a story about Robert, a plain looking guy who plays D&D with his friends twice a week and works as a game programmer. He’s been in a long-term relationship with a cheerleader he met during his final year at college, and Maria makes Robert feel like the luckiest man in the world. Maria lives in another apartment in the same complex to give Robert space for his “nerdy habits,” and they have a comfortable relationship that makes Robert the envy of his friends, and the object of scorn with Maria’s conservative parents. Robert’s mother isn’t too happy with his choice not to get married or have kids, as Robert and Maria have been together for over three years. But as a couple, they’re still happy to have their own individual habits, even though they share several hobbies.

Then there’s Maria’s sister, Tina, who’s just returned from four years at a private all-girls high school in New York. Tina’s the opposite of her cheerleader sister, being shorter and stockier, and thus less popular. She’s a big fan of black fabric, and she’s a cosplay and comics nerd, allowing her to have a circle of like minded friends. But returning to Texas means losing all of her friends, which is why Maria initially suggests that Tina come to game with Robert’s group. Maria makes the offer to give Tina a place to get away from her parents, and Tina gets along great with all of Robert’s friends. But over time Tina and Robert become more attracted to each other, leading to the start of a romantic triangle.

There’s several subplots working around this main plot, and both the central conflict and the subplots feel realistic to me. Robert’s a faithful guy, while Tina loves her sister and isn’t trying to steal her guy. They try to avoid each other, and Robert tells Maria the reason why immediately. After a few chance reunions, Maria ultimately decides to share Robert with her sister. This has not resolved the relationships yet, and while Robert and Tina aren’t hiding their affection for each other around his friends, the trio unanimously decided not to tell their parents yet. Obviously, that’s going to come out somewhere near the end. The other problem is, Robert’s still not sure about becoming more intimate with Tina, even with Maria giving her permission. To him, it still feels like cheating, and he’s worried about losing Maria even if he can’t deny his growing feelings for Tina. Tina’s conflict is, she has to eventually explain to her parents that she’s dating her sister’s lover, a man they already don’t like to begin with.

Well, anyway, I’m enjoying watching the story play out. It’s something new that I’ve never done before, and this probably means it’s guaranteed to flop. BUT, I want you to witness the majesty of this belly flop. Note the spread-eagle pose, the come-hither smile as the crushing metaphorical waters of failure awaits a high-impact collision with the metaphorical body of naive expectations.

Have I ever mentioned that I once belly flopped off the high dive board at a public pool in Denison? No? Yeah, I was nine at the time, and that high board scared the living shit out of me. So one day, I said, “Screw it, I’m going to climb that ladder and jump off!” So I got up there and just about lost my nerve. But I jumped and spread out my arms, and on the way down I saw the lifeguard waving his arms and doing that slow-mo “Nuh-ooooooooooooo!” And I thought, Aw crap this is gonna—

And it hurt like a motherfucker. Like being slapped by Mom when she was super pissed, but ALL OVER MY BODY. I curled up in a ball, and I learned a valuable lesson that day: that I am a moron who does stupid things. (I swam out on my own and didn’t need a lifeguard, but my body was a bit reddish for half an hour after that.)

The other thing I learned is that flopping hurts. The funny thing is, flopping for real still doesn’t prepare one for soul crushing book flopping. That’s like sending out a message in a bottle, and right when it’s floating out on the glittering horizon, a glimmering speck among sun-lit diamonds in your teary indie eye, that’s when the USS Mainstream cruise-liner runs over the bottle and sinks your little message right to the bottom of the Don’t Give A Shit Ocean. And you cry out, “Why, Mainstream? Why you got to be like that?”

And really, the USS Mainstream never even saw your message, nor did they realize they’d sunk it under their awesome weight. They never even slow down to see what they hit. They’re like, “What is that crazy person on that indie island screaming at us for? Oh never mind, probably trying to sell us a trashy porno novel. Another Martini, Mr. King?”

But you know, I am kind of getting used to the art of the majestic flop. Okay, I don’t live anywhere near the mainstream, but at the end of the day, I write a lot, and I really am doing something different with each experiment. Maybe most of it doesn’t sell. Okay. But hell, I can’t grow as an artist if I’m not willing to branch out and try new methods of telling stories.

Plus, I rambled about this book on Twitter a few times, and there have been a few people who said they’d definitely want to buy this book. Two, actually. But that’s still better than no one, right? Right?

*Sigh* Okay, back to the keyboard. Gotta finish this story this week so I can get to a vacation and some quality reading time.