No Playback!

In the latest edition of Cosmo for Latinas, there’s an article that offers six ways for women to feel sexier in bed. These include wearing sexy clothes, taking charge in the bedroom and fantasizing. But there’s one that just didn’t resonate with me, and I want to know is it because I’m not a woman, because I’m not Latina, or is it just because it’s me?

The article says to tap into the sounds of sex, and Sheri Meyers, the expert quoted in this portion of the piece suggests “…recording a sex session and playing it as background music next time you make love.”

What!? Am I just a prude or would this kill the mood for you, too? Look, when people make love, there are some funky sounds that emenate from their lips, not to mention some of the most cliche seventies porn statements that are often hoped to be forgotten. When going at it again, I don’t want to be taken out of that moment to hear how stupid I sounded last time I was in the moment, hence ruining this moment as well as the memory of the last one.

Sounds are great. Moan, groan, growl if you want. Talking dirty can have it’s place. Go with the moment and say what you are thinking. That can really add excitement to the moment, but please do not record it, at least if you are with me. I don’t need a recording of that floating around and ruining my chance at being the next Republican candidate for V.P. 

And, by all means, please don’t ever play it. I don’t want you to hear it. I don’t want to hear it. To be perfectly honest, I don’t even want you to tell me what I said four minutes after the post-coital snooze.

If I am in the minority on this, by all means chime in. Prove me wrong. But, if you are with me, let me know and then tell [image error] to keep the recording devices at bay.