This is what Hell looks like

My bad habits have caught up with me.

Saying bad words and hiding cookies led me to Hell.

Fortunately, I had my camera with me. This is what Hell looks like:

There’s no raging fires or writhing pits of anguished souls.

Contrary to popular opinion, the devil is a green thumb.

He has planted Elaeagnus Angustifolia all over Hell.

It blooms this time of year.

Oh, the pollen.

The suffering it imposes.

The sneezy, watery-eyed misery.

Even the ladybugs aren’t immune to the pollen. It’s everywhere.

So, next time you curse in front of your kids, throw some Benedryl into your pocket.

You’re gonna need it when you suddenly find yourself walking through Hell’s lush, verdant meadow.

.

This post brought to you by Anything You Ask, my new novella.

* Can a temporary marriage produce lasting love? *

Available now for Kindle. On sale for Nook and other ebook readers in July.

.

What makes you sneeze?