SAVOR SLOWLY. MIME IF YOU CAN. CONTEST TOO.

HUZZAH! Celebrate for me. GOAT-RIPPER has gone to its editor in NYC. Temma (Yale/Newsweek/Nano-technology) rips with red pencils. I like professional editors. My readers deserve the best. When my Atari word processor is hot and clicking, I typo my own name.

Temma is a story arc bender. She rifles my luggage to save characters. She made me teach Vannie how to sharpen her stiletto heels and tatoo on Koch Semper’s face. I don’t know why Vannie changed to use a hammer. But, I’m often off wrong chasing Buddhas, windmills and Pan’s grin.

GENESIS: RIPPER started as I painted an old fence red in San Jose. It was a rental. The paint had fumes. By October I had 14 chapters out of order. Then I painted 6 rooms white, stuffed turkey, stuffed stockings and tossed confetti. (Rice is more benign) The Ides of March arrived with 33 chapters plus weirdoes between sheets shouting. I needed help. Romans had mozerella; we survived by trading with Celts.

REVELATION: I read bits at Slaughterhouse Five review group. They bled me. Cast me into passive voice hell. Made me hunt action verbs. Simple, more blood.
It rained. My garden flooded. Nature called me outside. My garden sprang 9 colors. I bobbed up in Mother Ocean almost satisfied. Then Temma called.

RIPP-AH (as the Ah-staail-yans say) is Way Overboard on Sizzle. So my neighbor called the Fire Chief. They raced over, read RIPPER and wet their yellow fire-retarded outfits.

WHAT HAPPENS? My publisher gunna kill me. OK so, this newbie PI Jake Knight, well, he lives. He’s pissed he’s so air-dried with bullet holes. The divine dakini tattooed-Tanya waltzes in and plugs him good. Kissy face, OMG…..

THE YARN is about how Jake Knight earned those kisses. Tanya’s kisses are precious; they never go on sale. She’s wicked in the kitchen. Jake ate Kale Chips to find out. Now he does dishes and licks her plate.

THIS BLOGGER yelled, Scare their pajamas off. I sleep naked, fuggetabout-it. Wicked Bliss & Jaw-breaking Joy are better rewards. I whipped some up. Hide your cheese in a pillow case for the chase scene. The soggy blogger lost out to my Delete key. Cue dairy sheep. Baaaahhd!

On’ya. Aussie slang for ‘that was a good/great thing you said/did’. I found it on Twitter. I go snooping there. You? Amazing what-up with 6 million blurb-stirs. So far, On’ya’s my favorite Twitter-bit.

Ever go dipping at naked beach? The cops haul you off in a costume. Use gobs of sun shade? Trip over sand all summer? Dance the Bare-Foot Bootie?

Great, then hit me. If you must look, I’m the brown as a beetle-nut job. The oldie-goldie with rhythm below the spume off-shore body-surfing. What I mean is:

48 book-length rolled-up bottles of SONOMA KNIGHT: THE GOAT-RIPPER CASE in e-book format are FREE off e-AMAZON in mid-June. It’s a sexy romantic thriller set in the heart of wine country. (Tuns of research)

THE RULES:

1. Submit to PeterPrasad.SF@gmail.com on/after Memorial Day, May 27th.
2. Limited supply: first 50 e-books
3. Headline must say: FREE May 10th Baaah-Baaah Blog - EXPLATIVES DELETED.
4. Text must say: Winners unwind every great yarn.
5. All entries dated May 12th Mothers Day – automatic e-winners.
6. E-edition only. Delivered via Amazon e-gift mid-June. Why? Peter Prasad is in league with redwood trees. No quibbling allowed.

THANK YOU. As budding buns-of-steel newbie Sonoma private investigator and decorated Afghan-vet Jake Knight may say, ‘What can go wrong will go wrong, so have a nice day.’

The Librarian is giving me dirty looks. Folks are cued for this Net hook-up.
Gotta fly. Go Lightly. ON’YA!