When Moms Mess Up: It’s Never to Late to Start Again

“Mom,” my daughter exclaimed over the phone.  “I can’t believe it.  I shamed the kids.  I said I never would–but I did.  I was so irritated  I lost control. What should I do now?”

“Oh honey,” I responded, “I know the feeling. I never wanted to make that mistake with you either. I loved you so much I couldn’t imagine lashing out–yet I did. Go to them right away and apologize.  It’s never too late to start over.  Remember when I . . .’

As I shared a similar experience from her childhood, we both laughed.  It wasn’t funny at the time, but we could smile about it now.

I was aware again of the wonderful grace God gives moms, a second chance, a fresh start no matter how many mistakes we make.  Like the apostle Paul sometimes we do what we don’t want to do, and we don’t do what we say we want to do!  We can’t wipe out our wrongs, but we can acknowledge them to God, to ourselves, and to our children, apologize, ask for forgiveness, then roll up our sleeves and start again. I was also filled with the reality of God’s love for each of us. He gave us a second chance through Jesus Christ.  Surely, I thought, such a loving Father wants to redeem our parenting too.

Talking about a second chance, however, can be quite different from living it. I can think of numerous ways I’ve failed–being impatient with a child who needs a little extra time to tie his shoes, angry over spilled juice cups, irritated with little girls who fuss about clothing and little boys who don’t care enough about what they wear!  None of us has been the perfect parent. But God is with us, guiding us to make things right again. Following are some suggestions straight from the Bible.

1.  Admit our wrongs.

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord…(Acts 3:19).

2.  Trust that honesty–even when painful–builds healthy intimacy.

I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity (1Chr. 29:17).

3.  Face your flaws and failures with humility–and humor.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom (James 3:13).

4.  Release your mistakes to the Lord. Focus on his healing.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you (Psalm 9:10).

Restoration is not for the arrogant or the prideful.  It is for moms who are willing to admit their faults and to bring them to the Lord for healing.  It is for parents who want no less than all that God has for them and for their children. 

Then we will know first-hand the truth of Psalm 103:12, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

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