Turning Negative Self Talk into Positive Self Talk

Our negative thoughts often create anxiety. Going back to the bike wheel analogy, we can lose air just thinking about all the rocks that may or may not puncture our tires.

Negative thinking is a bad, bad habit.

How can you tell if you’ve got distorted thinking?

If things are all or nothing. Something is either entirely good, or entirely bad.
Jumping to conclusions or negative predictions. My friend and I liken this to driving down the highway of life and then just YANKING the wheel at the last minute to get off on Worst Case Scenario exit.
Dwelling on or only hearing the negative. Your story was critiqued and even though they pointed out several things you did wrong, you’re focusing on the negative comments as though they are all that was said.
Mind Reading. (Not literally). When you assume you know what someone else is thinking, typically in a negative way about yourself. 
Shoulds – I “should” do this or that or the other thing, instead of thinking about what you WILL do.

How to turn that negative chatter into positive

Catch yourself having the negative thought and recognize that it is distorted, negative thinking. 
Challenge the validity of the negative thought. 
Replace it with something positive.
Negative thoughts make us feel bad, angry, or scared. 
Positive thoughts are comforting, reassuring, uplifting — realistic rather than rose-colored.

Practice Daily Affirmations

Say these to yourself, in the mirror. The more awkward you feel, the more “fake” they sound … the more likely it is that you have a problem with negative self talk.

I am a good person.
I have many wonderful qualities
I am working hard to create the life that I want
I am taking this too seriously and personally
I can take risks and learn from the experience
I will manage my time better today
I will feel good things about ME today.

Be a good friend to yourself.

Recognize your strengths and focus on the positive aspects of a situation. Celebrate your successes! Comfort yourself when things go wrong.

You CAN change the way you feel by changing the way you think.

You are strong and you are worth it.

30 Rock

Any 30 Rock fans out there?

There’s a pair of scenes from an episode, where you see Liz Lemon giving herself a “pep talk” in the mirror. She calls herself ugly and stupid and yells at herself not to make the same mistakes this time AGAIN like she always does.

When Jack gives himself a mirror talk? He tells himself he’s a handsome bastard and that he can take on any of the people in that room single-handedly. He calls himself smart and successful and amazing.

I don’t think I need to analyze the differences there for you.

 

Related posts:

Negative Self-Talk
Positive Reinforcement: Of Triangles and Newspapers
Do You Talk to Your Car?