Hey, 30…I Ain’t Scared of You!

OK, so I have been a little scared of turning 30. My fears did not stem from “feeling old” or not being married or losing my youthful looks. The negativity that invaded my thoughts as I approached this pivotal age was the fact that I wasn’t where I thought I should be at 30.

I wasn’t a successful writer yet.

I wasn’t a millionaire yet.

I wasn’t able to take my mother on fabulous vacations at the drop of a hat.

I hadn’t been to New Zealand yet.

My group of friends seemed to be super small, which I know is a good thing but left me wondering how did the atrophy happen so quickly.

After beating myself up, complaining to my mom and a couple of friends, I eventually came to my senses.

I self-published my first book and had a lot of fun doing it. According to the reviews, some people think I did a pretty good job.

I’m making a great living–I can eat pretty much whatever I want. I love my neighborhood where I live. I have a car to get where I need to go. Sure Sallie Mae is still on my back, but after the bills are paid, I am still blessed and financially fortunate to give back to others.

I have some trips lined up and my mother conned convinced me to take a bus trip with her to Florida. I don’t like busses, but as part of the trip, I get to write about our experience together.

Daughter, it’s your day to celebrate. You’re always working hard to achieve your dreams–it’s one of the many things I admire about you…But on your birthday, I hope you can take some time for yourself, feel all the love I’m sending you, and just let the happy happen. You couldn’t deserve it more. Happy Birthday.” ~My bday card from my mother (she already know, lol)

As far as New Zealand, there’s always my Lord of the Rings DVD.

I looked up and saw all the fabulous family and friends (old and NEW) I have. I have the privilege to know some AMAZING women and men of all backgrounds, talents, abilities and they tolerate my sense of humor and over-analyzing of everything. And then there is JoJo Dancer–I got him on my birthday and he’s been a great companion ever since.

It’s hard to even allow fear to tear you down when you choose to fill your mind, heart and soul with gratefulness for what you do have. I know I can’t help but smile!

I wallowed in negative thoughts for a little while, but I chose not to stay there. That place ain’t no fun. And my mama didn’t raise no punk*. So as her card instructed, I’m going to just let the happy happen–and appreciate every moment.

 

 

*Trust me it hurt to write those double-negatives and ain’ts but it’s my birthday, so I get a break

 

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