10 Most Common Authors' Fantasies

Authors are renowned for making comments like, "Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd get a book deal." This kind of false modesty chafes like a crotchless teddy*. If you didn't imagine you'd get a book deal, then why did you print off one hundred copies of your first chapter and send it to one hundred different publishers?

Whether we admit it or not, we all fantasise about success. Why else would an author spend four years perfecting and self-publishing 100,000 words for average projec...