Line Editing, Up Close and Personal

I spent a large portion of the month of April revising The Duke and the Pirate Queen; some of the revisions responded to my editor's comments, some responded to a workshop critique, and some came from my fevered brain.I thought it would be interesting to share some of the line edits I made in the manuscript.Original version:Imena was far more devious than he'd predicted.Revised version:Imena was