What I Know for Sure… Equally Yoked

I used to hear the old folks talk about it. This concept of being in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t believe what you believe. It always had a religious connotation to it. Like you can’t get up every Sunday and go to church and your husband stays home scratching and watching sports. It won’t work. You two don’t share the same values. You’re not equally yoked. That made sense to me. You have to agree on the foundational things that a relationship is built on. Spirit and practice of religion is definitely one of those things. But, as I payed closer attention, I’m starting to believe that’s not only what it means.

When an animal is yoked, it is bridled and bound to an apparatus necessary for it to do a job. Often, two animals can be bound together and the two of them may pull a plow that will till the soil and prepare it for planting. The two animals, yoked together share the burden of pulling the heavy plow and make it easier to cover more ground in a shorter amount of time. Carrying the burden together, neither has to work harder than the other, neither carries more weight than the other and neither is worn out more than the other. But only if they are equally yoked. If not. One carries more weight, one does more of the work and one wears out faster. The one doing all of the work while the other moves along benefitting without contributing, becomes resentful.

What I know for sure is… you have to be equally yoked for your relationship to thrive. If one of you is bearing all of the burden of living, of working, of providing, of nurturing or of loving… they will wear out. You have to stop and reassess what work needs to be done. What goal are the two of you working toward and how will the two of you accomplish the goal. You both have to take your yoke and bind yourselves together in an equal manner. You both have to synchronize your steps and you have to move forward together. That’s the only way it works.