Yet Another Fruitless Rant
About Women in India
Your lips are probably curved upward already
as you read the title. Your incredulous eyes probably refuse to believe that
yet another person wants to write yet again about the same tiring topic. And
you are probably thinking, “What will it achieve anyway? As if everyone didn’t
already know everything!”
Maybe you are correct. Maybe what I have to
say has already been said many times by numerous other people. But that doesn’t
make the unease I feel everyday go away. So I have to speak, I have to vent my
feelings out irrespective of whether it reaches you or not.
Every day the newspaper reports at least one
incident of rape happening in India. The news of rape has become so common that
I now look at it with a numb indifference. I feel only distantly sick. It is just the constant unease under my diaphragm that refuses to leave.
I don’t know what I should do, what I could
do to help the little girls and women back home. Sometimes I wish I was born a
male so that I could escape identifying so deeply with these distressed women,
or probably better understand the male perspective. Sometimes I wish there was
a superhuman, even an avatar maybe, who could actually destroy the evil that
our society has become. Who needs saving from an Alien, our own men are vicious
enough.
As you would probably rightly argue, I
agree, that not all men are offspring of Satan. But even you would agree,
wouldn’t you, that you have met at least one who is?
Offspring of Satan – a rash choice of words.
You say. But what would you say a man is, when he rapes his own five year old
daughter? Or the school principal who forces the three year old little pupil of
his to take sedatives so that he can rape her noiselessly?
You say poverty and illiteracy are the
culprits. Educated men, enlightened men are different. You claim they are
compassionate even.
But what about the rich Delhi based mining
tycoon who took his own sixteen year old daughter on bonding trips all over the
country where he raped her in anonymous hotels. Or the compounder, a man from
the glorified middle class, who used his knowledge of causing minimal visible
damage while raping his adolescent daughter. Or the fourteen year old girl from
Kerala whose father pimped her out to 148 other men including a businessman, a
clerk and several actors after raping her brutally himself.
But I needn’t tell you all these. You
already know. But yet you deny. It is so easy to say, it is even comforting to
say that only drunk and unusually wired men are capable of such evil crimes. It
is not easy to confront the reality within the confine of your home. Family
honour and prestige often lead you to bury the crime into darkness.
I remember, long back, in my teenage, I had
read a story where the father sexually abused his daughter, and I was shocked
at the crooked imagination of the writer. I thought how disturbed one must be
to think of something so bad, to pollute the relationship of a father and a
daughter. But even the writer had the decency of making the father a psychotic.
Then I realised that the truth is much
harsher. I now know that I was only very lucky, that my father was one of those
rare men whom I could look up to. I feel blessed that I was given a childhood
worth remembering.
That is why the story of Reshma, from a
brothel in Mumbai, does not shock me. Quite expectedly she says, “Why would
father and brother be different? After all, they are men too.” And it is not
surprising, not anymore, that it was her father who sold her to the pimp when
she was just nine. The pimp then raped (trained in Reshma’s words) her in every
way possible.
She doesn’t flinch when she
says civilian women in the country are safe only because there are sex workers
in the world — warriors of a different kind — to ensure there is a vent for
baser male desires.
The horror doesn’t stop here for our girls.
When a mother goes to the police to file a complaint against her husband who
raped her daughter, the police officer sniggers and suggests that the woman is
so frigid that the poor man doesn’t have any other option than turning to his
own daughter.
Some of you even suggest the influence of
the western culture responsible for the catastrophic moral degradation our
society is going through. With due respect to you, you make me laugh. Why don’t
you look closer? Why don’t you look into our so called highly cultured society?
When do you think the women lived in a
better condition in our country? Our men have always kept their women subdued.
Do you think girls are raped only now? And it didn’t happen before? Why. You
are wrong. India has always been a living hell for women. Men have always raped
women, husbands and fathers have always traded their wives and daughters in
exchange of more materialistic things. And the women have always tolerated. Because
the Veda advices so. It is women’s duty to serve the men in their lives. If the
western influence is to be blamed for anything, it is for making our women able
to tell wrong from right.
Rape is the twisted outburst of the subconscious
pampering of a dominating heart, the belief of supremacy, the inability to see
women as their equal. So power hungry they are that they don't even spare little powerless boys. Pervert desire to project themselves as strong, fearsome to the weak. Over time the educated men have become subtle. They allow their
wives to work because little extra money always helps. But honestly, don't you men still cringe if your wife earns more than you do? How many of you men
have ever got up from the bed in night to pacify the crying baby? How many of you
men have shamelessly accepted dowry while you were getting married? And how
many of you ladies could have a career but didn’t have because your family
needed you? The answer is 'numerous'.
Every other neighbour of yours probably has
the same problem. Probably you too do. It’s just that we have become so used to
these that we don’t even think them as problems. Only when something extreme
like rape happens, we shift on our chairs, put on our reading glasses, write
blogs, letters to editors of newspapers, participate in debate and protest rallies and blame
a particular social tier we don’t belong to.
And as hard it may sound, there is no
respite. This is something where there won’t be any generation gap. Men will
continue to rape and women will continue to fight for what is rightfully
theirs. For our society is built on the dangerous quicksand of patriarchy, the more we try to escape the
more we get trapped.
Meanwhile mothers will continue to have the fear of
bearing a girl child lest she be tortured. I will continue my frustrated
rants even after knowing that there’s no way out. And India will continue to be India.
Love,
Riot of Random
Your lips are probably curved upward already
as you read the title. Your incredulous eyes probably refuse to believe that
yet another person wants to write yet again about the same tiring topic. And
you are probably thinking, “What will it achieve anyway? As if everyone didn’t
already know everything!”
Maybe you are correct. Maybe what I have to
say has already been said many times by numerous other people. But that doesn’t
make the unease I feel everyday go away. So I have to speak, I have to vent my
feelings out irrespective of whether it reaches you or not.
Every day the newspaper reports at least one
incident of rape happening in India. The news of rape has become so common that
I now look at it with a numb indifference. I feel only distantly sick. It is just the constant unease under my diaphragm that refuses to leave.
I don’t know what I should do, what I could
do to help the little girls and women back home. Sometimes I wish I was born a
male so that I could escape identifying so deeply with these distressed women,
or probably better understand the male perspective. Sometimes I wish there was
a superhuman, even an avatar maybe, who could actually destroy the evil that
our society has become. Who needs saving from an Alien, our own men are vicious
enough.
As you would probably rightly argue, I
agree, that not all men are offspring of Satan. But even you would agree,
wouldn’t you, that you have met at least one who is?
Offspring of Satan – a rash choice of words.
You say. But what would you say a man is, when he rapes his own five year old
daughter? Or the school principal who forces the three year old little pupil of
his to take sedatives so that he can rape her noiselessly?
You say poverty and illiteracy are the
culprits. Educated men, enlightened men are different. You claim they are
compassionate even.
But what about the rich Delhi based mining
tycoon who took his own sixteen year old daughter on bonding trips all over the
country where he raped her in anonymous hotels. Or the compounder, a man from
the glorified middle class, who used his knowledge of causing minimal visible
damage while raping his adolescent daughter. Or the fourteen year old girl from
Kerala whose father pimped her out to 148 other men including a businessman, a
clerk and several actors after raping her brutally himself.
But I needn’t tell you all these. Youalready know. But yet you deny. It is so easy to say, it is even comforting to
say that only drunk and unusually wired men are capable of such evil crimes. It
is not easy to confront the reality within the confine of your home. Family
honour and prestige often lead you to bury the crime into darkness.
I remember, long back, in my teenage, I had
read a story where the father sexually abused his daughter, and I was shocked
at the crooked imagination of the writer. I thought how disturbed one must be
to think of something so bad, to pollute the relationship of a father and a
daughter. But even the writer had the decency of making the father a psychotic.
Then I realised that the truth is much
harsher. I now know that I was only very lucky, that my father was one of those
rare men whom I could look up to. I feel blessed that I was given a childhood
worth remembering.
That is why the story of Reshma, from a
brothel in Mumbai, does not shock me. Quite expectedly she says, “Why would
father and brother be different? After all, they are men too.” And it is not
surprising, not anymore, that it was her father who sold her to the pimp when
she was just nine. The pimp then raped (trained in Reshma’s words) her in every
way possible.
She doesn’t flinch when she
says civilian women in the country are safe only because there are sex workers
in the world — warriors of a different kind — to ensure there is a vent for
baser male desires.
The horror doesn’t stop here for our girls.
When a mother goes to the police to file a complaint against her husband who
raped her daughter, the police officer sniggers and suggests that the woman is
so frigid that the poor man doesn’t have any other option than turning to his
own daughter.
Some of you even suggest the influence of
the western culture responsible for the catastrophic moral degradation our
society is going through. With due respect to you, you make me laugh. Why don’t
you look closer? Why don’t you look into our so called highly cultured society?
When do you think the women lived in a
better condition in our country? Our men have always kept their women subdued.
Do you think girls are raped only now? And it didn’t happen before? Why. You
are wrong. India has always been a living hell for women. Men have always raped
women, husbands and fathers have always traded their wives and daughters in
exchange of more materialistic things. And the women have always tolerated. Because
the Veda advices so. It is women’s duty to serve the men in their lives. If the
western influence is to be blamed for anything, it is for making our women able
to tell wrong from right.
Rape is the twisted outburst of the subconscious
pampering of a dominating heart, the belief of supremacy, the inability to see
women as their equal. So power hungry they are that they don't even spare little powerless boys. Pervert desire to project themselves as strong, fearsome to the weak. Over time the educated men have become subtle. They allow their
wives to work because little extra money always helps. But honestly, don't you men still cringe if your wife earns more than you do? How many of you men
have ever got up from the bed in night to pacify the crying baby? How many of you
men have shamelessly accepted dowry while you were getting married? And how
many of you ladies could have a career but didn’t have because your family
needed you? The answer is 'numerous'.
Every other neighbour of yours probably has
the same problem. Probably you too do. It’s just that we have become so used to
these that we don’t even think them as problems. Only when something extreme
like rape happens, we shift on our chairs, put on our reading glasses, write
blogs, letters to editors of newspapers, participate in debate and protest rallies and blame
a particular social tier we don’t belong to.
And as hard it may sound, there is no
respite. This is something where there won’t be any generation gap. Men will
continue to rape and women will continue to fight for what is rightfully
theirs. For our society is built on the dangerous quicksand of patriarchy, the more we try to escape the
more we get trapped.
Meanwhile mothers will continue to have the fear of
bearing a girl child lest she be tortured. I will continue my frustrated
rants even after knowing that there’s no way out. And India will continue to be India.
Love,
© copyright 2012 – All rights reserved
Riot of Random
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