gillpolack @ 2013-05-02T13:08:00
I'm back to what passes for regular existence chez Gillian. I have an order of fine beef (Belted Galloway, from Mountain Creek Farm) arriving tomorrow, for I'm very tired of living on less-fine food. Also, it's better for my health and I know the farm (I even used to know the animals) and I have seen that they lead fine lives and are well-treated. These things are important to me, but when my income is low I have to give in and buy second-best (second-best is the meat from the halal butcher - I don't know the farm or the animals, but I know the butcher is careful of those last minutes and respectful of the animal's well-being).
So many people around me seem to forget that when one can't drive and one is less than perfectly well, stir craziness is the result. They do all kinds of things without me, because they might have to arrange for someone to pick me up or deal with food issues. (There are friends who take my limitations into play as a matter of course, but we've all been a bit frantic recently and I haven't seen them. There are new babies and jobs and illness and all sorts of things in their lives.)
At Conflux, a whole bunch of us with food issues hung out together on the Sunday afternoon. We were friends, and would've hung out together anyhow, but it made it much easier to know we weren't going to poison each other, by mistake. That's what made me realise that my social life is currently circumscribed by the difficulties other people ascribe to it.
I love my many hours at home alone (for it's interesting time, doing interesting things) but I would like to get out for something other than teaching and shopping a couple of times a week. My favourite friends are the ones who realise this! And I haven't seen them for a while. And it shows. I'm seeing two on Saturday and two on Monday, which will make me a much more equable human being. We're not doing anything exciting - we're just hanging out. Possibly, on Monday, in a playground. There are two of my favourite children involved and I'm looking forward to it.
All this boils down to me being in much less pain. All the new medications are doing their thing and I suddenly realise that I can do things. And that I'm happy to finish my tax and write my papers and teach my classes and contrive synopses and other daily tasks, I would really like to go to a movie and to see the new displays at the art galleries and museums and maybe, maybe get some music back in my life. These things take a half day to do when one doesn't drive, so I'm not quite ready to do them alone yet. I'm going to have to be, though, if I want a bit more enjoyment in my life. I may be work-obsessed, but I still need time out, it appears - and preferably with friends. In my dream world, of course, I explore country towns and go to trash and treasures and visit caves and mountain tops, but I think that's too ambitious. Right now I'll settle for movies and art galleries from time to time.
So many people around me seem to forget that when one can't drive and one is less than perfectly well, stir craziness is the result. They do all kinds of things without me, because they might have to arrange for someone to pick me up or deal with food issues. (There are friends who take my limitations into play as a matter of course, but we've all been a bit frantic recently and I haven't seen them. There are new babies and jobs and illness and all sorts of things in their lives.)
At Conflux, a whole bunch of us with food issues hung out together on the Sunday afternoon. We were friends, and would've hung out together anyhow, but it made it much easier to know we weren't going to poison each other, by mistake. That's what made me realise that my social life is currently circumscribed by the difficulties other people ascribe to it.
I love my many hours at home alone (for it's interesting time, doing interesting things) but I would like to get out for something other than teaching and shopping a couple of times a week. My favourite friends are the ones who realise this! And I haven't seen them for a while. And it shows. I'm seeing two on Saturday and two on Monday, which will make me a much more equable human being. We're not doing anything exciting - we're just hanging out. Possibly, on Monday, in a playground. There are two of my favourite children involved and I'm looking forward to it.
All this boils down to me being in much less pain. All the new medications are doing their thing and I suddenly realise that I can do things. And that I'm happy to finish my tax and write my papers and teach my classes and contrive synopses and other daily tasks, I would really like to go to a movie and to see the new displays at the art galleries and museums and maybe, maybe get some music back in my life. These things take a half day to do when one doesn't drive, so I'm not quite ready to do them alone yet. I'm going to have to be, though, if I want a bit more enjoyment in my life. I may be work-obsessed, but I still need time out, it appears - and preferably with friends. In my dream world, of course, I explore country towns and go to trash and treasures and visit caves and mountain tops, but I think that's too ambitious. Right now I'll settle for movies and art galleries from time to time.
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