Virtually Perfect

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‘I’ll show you my darkroom.’

It’s all the way up there with ‘Come up and see my etchings’ and Eve knew it.

Set in Brighton, England, Virtually Perfect is a dark romantic comedy exploring the world of internet dating.

Auctioneer, Evelyn Blake, needs a plus one for her colleagues’ wedding. No one likes rocking up to those things alone. Fuelled by Pinot Grigio, sheer frustration and a smattering of panic, Eve lands on a dating website. Amongst all the bare-chested mirror shots and men-with-no-neck, one dating profile stands out.

Shutterman has been single for a while (since walking in on his fiancée and best friend in the throes in his own bed). Years of hard work, one fluke Mont Blanc shot, and photographer Benjamin Macy finds himself catapulted to fame and fortune. Handsome, young, rich and accomplished, he’s the ultimate bachelor. Far from the Deptford tower block where he grew up, the past he tries so hard to hide.

In the afterglow of a particularly good sale, Eve agrees to ditch her microwave meal and go out with Ben.



She ordered a glass of Rioja. Her voice was low, self-assured, very well-spoken. She smiled at Ben. He was taller than she’d imagined. She was smaller than he’d thought. She had the blackest eyes he’d ever seen.

His hair was dark and ruffled – a touch of wax and a hint of gold. His eyes were supposed to be blue. She couldn’t tell in the light. Pinched cheekbones, a dented chin, full, soft lips. There must be something wrong with him. His face was perfectly symmetrical. I bet he’s got a hairy bum. Eve didn’t normally go for facial hair, but Ben’s stubble stopped him looking too pretty. Maybe he’s one of those guys with no bum at all? His neck was lovely, great definition. Oh no, not a hairy back! She could see the chest hair, peeking from the undone top button. Is it rough, like a brillo pad? Please don’t say he’s got a teeny, weeny…

She heard Ben clear his throat.

He was watching, confident, like a cat. He was smirking.

Say something… Words! Anything!

Maybe it’s the ambiance: the mood-lighting, the Spanish guitar. The food (possibly the wine). Eve finds herself captivated.

‘He’s a conman.’

‘Oh really,’ said Eve. ‘Based on what?’

Curtis shrugged.

‘Normal blokes don’t do dating sites.’

He could be such a smug git at times.

‘And what about normal women?’

Eve glowered up at him, her thumbnail gouging grooves in her pencil. At that moment, all Eve wanted to do was take that pencil, and jab it up his nose.

Virtually Perfect explores the doubts and insecurities of two people forging a new relationship. They’ve both been burned in the past. The relationship quickly develops into a passionate affair, but it isn’t long before reality bursts their bubble.

Eve stared at her reflection in the mirror. She’d dreamt of coming back. It felt nothing like she’d imagined. Her fingertips drifted across her face. All the Touch Éclat in the world wasn’t going to fix that frown line. She needed to tell Ben now. She was just one ‘Hello’ away from being found out.

Though Ben and Eve come from different worlds, their pasts have crossed before. When the secrets resurface; when the rose-tinted spectacles slide, will they stand and face the music together, or unravel and part?

‘Dance with me.’

‘What?’

‘Dance with me,’ Ben said again. Eve just stared at him.

‘Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen when we leave here. From where I’m standing, it’s not looking good. But we’re here now. It’s a wedding, Evelyn. Dance with me. Just once.’

Ben liked opera. He could sing. Now he wanted to dance. Handsome, accomplished, talented, smart. Eve gazed up into his pretty blue eyes. It broke her heart that he was so full of…

Sizzling with sex, bubbling with humour, crackling with tension, from Brighton Pier to Reykjavik to the deserts of Saudi Arabia, Virtually Perfect is an online romance story through the eyes of both Ben and Eve. Sometimes sad, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, Virtually Perfect is a 21st Century love story.