“What does Christy dislike?” – Anonymous reviewer

A review (the only one so far although I hope there will be more *ahem*) of my new book on Barnes & Noble gave it four out of five stars, withholding the fifth until the anonymous reviewer finds out “the truth.”  Where is the volcanically angry Christy? he wants to know. “Where is the ingenious, outrageous lust, the bitter criticism, the delighted malice?” he asked.

Interesting take on my writing. Yes, I do try to be positive and focus on beauty and love and inspiration, but maybe my reviewer was right. Maybe that’s not real enough. So okay then! You want volcanic Christy? All right. All right, you want to know what makes me angry? YOU GOT IT! (Deep breath…)

The longest thirty seconds of my life are the ones I spend waiting for the ad at the beginning of the video I want to watch!

The people who are the quickest to tell me what they really think are the ones who would be the maddest if I did it too!

I went through thousands of music lessons and hundreds of school music programs and never did find out if Aunt Rhody was pissed about that goose!

Both parties in our political system suck!

TV shows used to have seasons that actually lasted a whole season! And reruns were only on during the summer! We’re getting hosed!

Sour milk!

When I get a cramp in my foot just when I am falling asleep!

Kathie Lee and Hoda!

When I tell a hilarious joke and no one gets it!

When I’m in a group of people who are reading in unison and one person is always a tiny bit ahead!

Journalists who stick their opinions in news stories, like I’m not smart enough to form my own opinion! I. WANT. TO. PUNCH. THEM. SO. MUCH.

Cat hair! I’m in an endless, losing battle against cat hair!

When I put the spoon in my empty yogurt container it ALWAYS TIPS OVER!

CAR DEALERSHIP COMMERCIALS! AAAAAAUGH!

Gasp…gasp…gasp…