psychogenic polydipsicThis Freak can be found holding up ...

psychogenic polydipsicThis Freak can be found holding up bars whilst sittingatop his barstool. Or these may be horses confinedto their pens without Nintendo, and so their boredom isintolerable. Either way the results are the same: the fluidsconsumed outweigh typical jello-filled bathtubs. Andwe mean old bathtubs, the kind with animal claws forfeet. Worried of your own propensity toward beverages?Among questions to ask the psychogenic polydipsic:Have you been indulging in a profusion of burritos orRussian salads? Have you been skipping rope in theimmediate vicinity of active volcanoes? Have you foundyourself pissing down the length of telephone poles? Inmost cases, polydipsics are mathematicians in Hollywoodfilms, and so you shouldn’t worry. True psychogenicpolydipsics suffer from middle-finger-out-the-windowof-their-Mercedes syndrome, and the left armpits of theirundershirts are stained yellow. Just the same, keep an eyeon your horse. Psychogenic polydipsics are people whoare always fucking thirsty, forever, what I mean is, passthe wine.