passenger indefinitely

My girlfriend is driving because I just hit a deer. If you saw me you’d assume the mocha spattered up and down my favorite white shirt was from the collision, but it was actually from about 5 minutes prior. I didn’t want to go to Duluth today. Short on funds, weather is shit, and, frankly, I had better things to do….but I needed a haircut.

Obviously I didn’t get the haircut.

I did get a pizza from Pizza Hut which I haven’t done in about a zillion years. Spent the last of my cash. We can only assume it’s mush sprayed across the interior of the trunk at this point. I suppose I could get out of the car and smear what’s left of it all over my Jackson Pollack canvas shirt, but I’m too afraid of deer now.

I won’t be driving again. So that saves on gas.

My book. Yeah, it’s pretty good. Oh, right, you’re sick of me talking about it. Sorry. I was pretty excited about it at one point but I’ve been told to shut the fuck up about it so often I’m afraid to even say the title out loud. In my mind, it’s become synonymous with an eyeroll.

Did you know that the only thing I had left to brag about was my driving? How I’d never hit a deer living up here?

I guess I should be glad nobody reads my blog anymore, now I can write freely here without writing what people think. I missed that. It’s actually pretty tough thinking people give a shit about what I write.

I can’t afford my tuition for my writing workshop this summer. Everybody already assumed that was going to happen, I’m sure, but now I can officially confirm it.

I wonder if I have to quit my job if I can’t drive anymore?

I’m going to stand up one of my best friends for about the billionth time this weekend. It’s only his golden birthday.

My girlfriend confirmed that I ruined her fucking day.

We were going to see a movie. It was a tradeoff for her moving to the middle of fucking nowhere for me.

We didn’t see a movie. It was going to be “GI Joe” though. Just fyi.

Bad day? Shit, man, I’d be lucky if it was just confined to one day.