Handling Depression: Ups and Downs
I was watching the move ‘Blow’ on a Sunday afternoon (perhaps a tad hungover), and one of Ray Liota’s lines really caught my attention:
“Sometimes you’re flush and sometimes you’re bust, and when you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down, you never think you’ll be up again, but life goes on…”
Being an occasional gambler, I can attest to this line being absolutely true. You never remember the hands you win on, but you always remember those hands that you lost everything on. But, this quote brings to light an aspect of our mentality which I think is the root of a lot of our modern day psychological problems.
Being a writer, it probably isn’t much of a stretch to imagine that I find myself in the occasional bought of depression, usually self-inflicted, and yet somehow I always manage to lay the blame on others, on the past, friends, family, ex-girlfriends. The list is endless. And this spiral can last days, weeks, or even months, but so far (knock on wood), I have managed to climb out of the pit time and time again. So, sitting here feeling better than I did yesterday, I figured it would be a good time to address the usual triggers which send me down into the pit.
Stress
Probably the number one catalyst for most depressional cycles is stress. Whether this be from work, school, family, relationships, health, self-image, or lack of confidence (and sometimes, it can be all of these things combined), the more you procrastinate, the more it all builds up – until you feel so over whelmed you don’t accomplish any of your immediate goals, stewing in a broth of booze and whatever else you find to help you momentarily forget all of the shit you need to be doing (food, cigarettes, drugs, it’s all the same). The number one factor is self-fulfillment – if you are not satisfied with yourself, it becomes more difficult to motivate yourself on a day to day basis.
Alcohol
Booze is brutal. Don’t get me wrong, I drink (being from Bruce County and all) – but I am finally beginning to realize all of the problems that stem from alcohol, specifically constant nights of inebriation. First off, smoking and other vices come out in full force when I am drunk. If I didn’t drink, quitting smoking would be infinitely easier – and I would safe a shitload of money. I would be in better shape (even if you workout during the day, the minute you put one drop of alcohol in your body, your metabolism refocuses all of your body’s energy on digesting the alcohol, so you are effectively wasting any gains you made that day at the gym), my sleeping pattern would improve, and my appetite. All of this would also be conducive to cooking healthier meals for myself (rather than eating out all the time), doing household chores more regularly and having an overall improved sense of accomplishment with my life.
Romance
Another prevalent reason for my occasional battles with depression stem from loneliness and rejection. It’s amazing, how one can completely disregard all of the friends and family surrounding them in these moments, but it happens. Infatuation can be a beautiful, life-changing thing, but it can also lead to complete mental paralysis. ‘Why can’t I get over her?’ ‘Why is she with him?’ ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ‘Why doesn’t any body get me?’ are just a few of the mundane and cliché questions I start asking myself. The important thing here is to focus on you – don’t try changing yourself or pretending just for the sake of pleasing a person you are interested in. Find something you’re passionate about, and focus on that. The rest will follow. Attraction is mostly dictated by self-confidence, so if you are confident in yourself, things become infinitely easier in your romantic life.
Finances
We can never have enough money. The more we make, the more we spend. Careful budgeting aside, I think another one of Ray’s quotes from ‘Blow’ can really apply here as well; ‘Money isn’t real George, it doesn’t matter. It only seems like it does.’ Now, you can’t deny that money is important, and to live in this modern age of gadgets and mortgages and goddamn stock markets, well, simple truth is that you need money. So don’t spend it constantly on stupid shit! There’s nothing more depressing than looking at an empty bank account, two weeks away from your next pay-cheque. The better you can manage your money, the easier your life is – it’s as simple as that. This won’t necessarily make you happy, but it’s a start.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The underlying theme here is that feeling of static, the idea that this feeling of depression (or confidence) will go on forever, this is an illusional construct of our minds. We live our lives in cycles; our identities are changing all the time, and with them our emotions. Something that has helped me greatly in the past year is understanding the fact that our lives move in constant waves – and just like life would be worthless without death – we need these moments of depression to appreciate our moments of pride and accomplishment.
Depression is natural, and no one should even feel ashamed because they are down on themselves. The important thing to remember is that depression is a tool; utilize the strong emotions boiling up inside you, and let them drive you. You will come out stronger and with more focus. The key is not to let your depression lead you down a suspended path. Take a weekend for yourself, have some drinks, do whatever it is you feel you need to do to release some tension, but that next Monday – get your ass in gear and get back to the shit that makes you happy. Carpe that fucking Diem.
“Sometimes you’re flush and sometimes you’re bust, and when you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down, you never think you’ll be up again, but life goes on…”
Being an occasional gambler, I can attest to this line being absolutely true. You never remember the hands you win on, but you always remember those hands that you lost everything on. But, this quote brings to light an aspect of our mentality which I think is the root of a lot of our modern day psychological problems.
Being a writer, it probably isn’t much of a stretch to imagine that I find myself in the occasional bought of depression, usually self-inflicted, and yet somehow I always manage to lay the blame on others, on the past, friends, family, ex-girlfriends. The list is endless. And this spiral can last days, weeks, or even months, but so far (knock on wood), I have managed to climb out of the pit time and time again. So, sitting here feeling better than I did yesterday, I figured it would be a good time to address the usual triggers which send me down into the pit.
Stress
Probably the number one catalyst for most depressional cycles is stress. Whether this be from work, school, family, relationships, health, self-image, or lack of confidence (and sometimes, it can be all of these things combined), the more you procrastinate, the more it all builds up – until you feel so over whelmed you don’t accomplish any of your immediate goals, stewing in a broth of booze and whatever else you find to help you momentarily forget all of the shit you need to be doing (food, cigarettes, drugs, it’s all the same). The number one factor is self-fulfillment – if you are not satisfied with yourself, it becomes more difficult to motivate yourself on a day to day basis.
Alcohol
Booze is brutal. Don’t get me wrong, I drink (being from Bruce County and all) – but I am finally beginning to realize all of the problems that stem from alcohol, specifically constant nights of inebriation. First off, smoking and other vices come out in full force when I am drunk. If I didn’t drink, quitting smoking would be infinitely easier – and I would safe a shitload of money. I would be in better shape (even if you workout during the day, the minute you put one drop of alcohol in your body, your metabolism refocuses all of your body’s energy on digesting the alcohol, so you are effectively wasting any gains you made that day at the gym), my sleeping pattern would improve, and my appetite. All of this would also be conducive to cooking healthier meals for myself (rather than eating out all the time), doing household chores more regularly and having an overall improved sense of accomplishment with my life.
Romance
Another prevalent reason for my occasional battles with depression stem from loneliness and rejection. It’s amazing, how one can completely disregard all of the friends and family surrounding them in these moments, but it happens. Infatuation can be a beautiful, life-changing thing, but it can also lead to complete mental paralysis. ‘Why can’t I get over her?’ ‘Why is she with him?’ ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ‘Why doesn’t any body get me?’ are just a few of the mundane and cliché questions I start asking myself. The important thing here is to focus on you – don’t try changing yourself or pretending just for the sake of pleasing a person you are interested in. Find something you’re passionate about, and focus on that. The rest will follow. Attraction is mostly dictated by self-confidence, so if you are confident in yourself, things become infinitely easier in your romantic life.
Finances
We can never have enough money. The more we make, the more we spend. Careful budgeting aside, I think another one of Ray’s quotes from ‘Blow’ can really apply here as well; ‘Money isn’t real George, it doesn’t matter. It only seems like it does.’ Now, you can’t deny that money is important, and to live in this modern age of gadgets and mortgages and goddamn stock markets, well, simple truth is that you need money. So don’t spend it constantly on stupid shit! There’s nothing more depressing than looking at an empty bank account, two weeks away from your next pay-cheque. The better you can manage your money, the easier your life is – it’s as simple as that. This won’t necessarily make you happy, but it’s a start.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The underlying theme here is that feeling of static, the idea that this feeling of depression (or confidence) will go on forever, this is an illusional construct of our minds. We live our lives in cycles; our identities are changing all the time, and with them our emotions. Something that has helped me greatly in the past year is understanding the fact that our lives move in constant waves – and just like life would be worthless without death – we need these moments of depression to appreciate our moments of pride and accomplishment.
Depression is natural, and no one should even feel ashamed because they are down on themselves. The important thing to remember is that depression is a tool; utilize the strong emotions boiling up inside you, and let them drive you. You will come out stronger and with more focus. The key is not to let your depression lead you down a suspended path. Take a weekend for yourself, have some drinks, do whatever it is you feel you need to do to release some tension, but that next Monday – get your ass in gear and get back to the shit that makes you happy. Carpe that fucking Diem.
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