How When it Comes to Love, My Mom Duped me. And then I Duped Kid C

My mama always told me to keep the guys guessing, and never let 'em see you swoon. So the other day, Kid C was talking to me about a few girls that he likes. I tried to dispense a little bit of similar motherly advice. 



me: "So, you know, if you like a girl, you might want to play it cool-"



Kid C holds his hand up, as if to say I got this. 



Kid C: "I know, mom. I know. It's called 'playing hard to get'."



I guess I've been talking to him about it more than I thought.



me: "So what do you think that means?"



Kid C: "It means I avoid her. And I tell her that I like other girls. I don't go as far as to tell her I hate her, or trip her or anything, but I make sure she knows I don't like her much, and I'd rather be near someone else."



me (with a sigh, thinking I may have overshot the whole "playing hard to get" lesson for years...): "Okay, let's start over. Let's practice starting a conversation with her."



Kid c: (BLANK LOOK)



me: "You know, like 'Hey! How are you?'"



Kid C: (BLANK LOOK)



And I realize it's too late. I've already indoctrinated him with the hard to get mentality. Suddenly, my high school social life (or lack thereof) flashes before my eyes. 



I remember my agent, after reading my book, said to me, "It seems like the main character doesn't like the main love interest very much."



I was stunned. I was all, "She LOVES him! How did you not get that?"



He's all, "Well how does she show it?"



Me: "Didn't you see her run out of the room every time he walked in? And then that one scene where she yells at him? and tells him she hates him?? If that's not love..." My voice faded off. 



Him: "Um... Yeah..."



Me (lightning strikes): "Ahhhhh. That's not love." And  then, shaking my fist in the air: "CURSES MOM!! I was DUPED!"



I'm so sorry, Kid C.