Query Letter Humor: My Pet Cat Wants to Kill Me

Dear Agent,

Rin has had five lucky escapes from death in three days.

First were the balls of yarn scattered along the floor by the staircase. And then there was the two-pound hairball stuffed into her mouth when she woke one morning. There was the grass vomit mixed in with her cereal, and the claw marks down her clothes.

Rin knew the dead animals on the front porch were threats that someone was after her. But when a visibly tattered husband was found there one day, mumbling about the tragedy that occurred at the veterinarian’s, she knew time was fast running out.

Somewhere in the thick of the garden, something was stalking her every move, biding its time to strike again – and if she didn’t buy a working cat carrying case from the nearest pet store soon, the next corpse found would be hers.

At 80,000 words, My Pet Cat Wants to Kill Me is a thrilling tale of espionage and romance, of love and betrayal in the time of neutering. I would compare this to The Bourne Legacy meets Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, if Honey was a cat who refuses to be declawed.

Best regards,

Rin Chupeco

Catzio, the Assassin Cat