Evil Eulogy 6

What can I say about a man who reached the very pinnacle of his profession and then decided to quit snake handling and become an editor? And, three months later, decided to quit editing and become a full-time blogger? Only one thing: I'm not dead, idiots.

And by "not dead," I don't mean like zombies, vampires, Jesus, and everyone who ever died on Lost.

I know what you're thinking. If you're alive, who's that in the casket? Hey, did anyone bother to flip him over, get his wallet and check his ID...