The Dangers of Public School, Part Three: The Pressure of Fitting In
Last week I talked about corrupt teachers. This week, I'd like to talk about some other factors. One you've probably heard lots about.
Peer pressure.
It's an insidious thing, and I know from experience that a kid as young as nine or ten can feel it, even before others really start pushing.
Your kids go to school every day in an environment that I think of as toxic. Kids want to be liked, and they want to fit in. Some of them will do whatever it takes for that acceptance.
Girls want to be attractive to boys, and boys want to be attractive to girls. Both genders want to be liked by others. They want to fit in. They don't want to stand out. And they don't want to stand out because those who stand out get made fun of or bullied. Or, in some cases, completely ignored.
And that fear of rejection, or fear of being alone, can lead kids and teens to do things they might otherwise have never considered.
Lots of teens start drinking, smoking, and using drugs in high school. Lots of teens start having sex in high school. And it's not all the school's fault, since how you raise your kids and their personalities all have to do with it, but school makes it easier.
Boys want girls for their bodies, and girls want to be loved by the boys. The peer pressure is astounding. If they refuse, they can be ridiculed.
But that's not all. Fashion is something that girls especially get pressured into. They want to look like the popular girls, have the same things, do the same things, be the same way. When wearing that short skirt, tight jeans, low-cut shirt, just objectifies them. Buying that expensive jewelry just to look the same, when maybe what they really wanted was something else.
And then there's the drinking and the drugs. Teen usage of drugs, especially marijuana, is up, despite government programs and lectures from teachers. Why? Because if you do it, you'll be like everyone else. Because if you're the only one that doesn't, you're weird, or puritanical. Because if you don't, you're afraid. (I'm sure there are other factors, and possibly bigger ones, but this is the one we're discussing today.)
It's all very silly, but many kids and teens don't see it that way. For them, it's very important. And so it should be important to you, too. They need to know that not only is 'no' the right answer, they need the courage and self-confidence to follow through and not give in, too. They need to believe it's important to say no, and then they have to have the strength to act on that, even if it's going to be uncomfortable for a while.
Peer pressure.
It's an insidious thing, and I know from experience that a kid as young as nine or ten can feel it, even before others really start pushing.
Your kids go to school every day in an environment that I think of as toxic. Kids want to be liked, and they want to fit in. Some of them will do whatever it takes for that acceptance.
Girls want to be attractive to boys, and boys want to be attractive to girls. Both genders want to be liked by others. They want to fit in. They don't want to stand out. And they don't want to stand out because those who stand out get made fun of or bullied. Or, in some cases, completely ignored.
And that fear of rejection, or fear of being alone, can lead kids and teens to do things they might otherwise have never considered.
Lots of teens start drinking, smoking, and using drugs in high school. Lots of teens start having sex in high school. And it's not all the school's fault, since how you raise your kids and their personalities all have to do with it, but school makes it easier.
Boys want girls for their bodies, and girls want to be loved by the boys. The peer pressure is astounding. If they refuse, they can be ridiculed.
But that's not all. Fashion is something that girls especially get pressured into. They want to look like the popular girls, have the same things, do the same things, be the same way. When wearing that short skirt, tight jeans, low-cut shirt, just objectifies them. Buying that expensive jewelry just to look the same, when maybe what they really wanted was something else.
And then there's the drinking and the drugs. Teen usage of drugs, especially marijuana, is up, despite government programs and lectures from teachers. Why? Because if you do it, you'll be like everyone else. Because if you're the only one that doesn't, you're weird, or puritanical. Because if you don't, you're afraid. (I'm sure there are other factors, and possibly bigger ones, but this is the one we're discussing today.)
It's all very silly, but many kids and teens don't see it that way. For them, it's very important. And so it should be important to you, too. They need to know that not only is 'no' the right answer, they need the courage and self-confidence to follow through and not give in, too. They need to believe it's important to say no, and then they have to have the strength to act on that, even if it's going to be uncomfortable for a while.
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