Why I failed sex ed class and still managed to have kids

Why do people talk about “the birds and the bees” when they refer to sex?

Every time I see birds and bees, they are never having sex with each other.

I spent my teens waiting for the birds and the bees to teach me something about sex.

They never went out on a date, or sent each other flowers, or…you know.

I finally asked my kid about the birds and the bees.

She explained that birds and bees don’t, um, date each other.

So I’ve been spending a lot of time watching birds with birds. And bees with bees.

I’m still not seeing any action. *Yawn*

So who thought birds and bees were good examples of sexual creatures?

Frankly, I learned more about sex from the turtles at the zoo.

And the monkeys. Those guys never stop copulating.

So when I have to give my younger kid the sex talk, I’m gonna talk about “the turtles and the monkeys.”

It won’t be as pretty as the birds and the bees, but my kid is gonna get the highest grade in sex education class.

.

So who taught you about…? Wait a minute, that’s probably not a good question to ask.

How ’bout this: What was the Magna Carta and how did it change England?