No fist fights at my kid’s lacrosse game…yet.

I’m pleased to announce a minor miracle.

We are two weeks into lacrosse season,

and no fist fights have broke out between the parents of opposing teams.

I’m responsible for the placid sidelines.

My behavior sets the tone for the entire game.

Here’s my girl.

When she’s alone, I’m happy.

It’s a different story when she has company.

She ALWAYS has company.

Her visitors ALWAYS throw balls at her.

I find it quite upsetting. I weep. I cry. I suck my thumb.

I bury my head in stranger’s necks and beg them to stop the game.

And everyone is so distracted by my behavior, they don’t yell at each other.

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