Rejection

*sigh*

I just got my first rejection for my modern day werewolf book. The agent said “Your premise is interesting, but your opening pages failed to engage me. You have a ton of back story and set up without anything actually happening.“

*another, longer sigh*

I’ve put a few samples of the book here on my blog (links below) and would love it if you could read them and give me your feedback. This was a book I thought would be easy to snag an agent’s attention with, but I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

I’m not sure what should be in a synopsis, so for any of you dear readers, could you tell me what should be included in a good, strong synopsis? I’ve pasted my original one below.

Oh, maybe I should add something like ***SPOILERS***

Synopsis:
     Ness is a slayer. It is her duty to kill wolves. Her family has upheld this tradition ever since Christopher Columbus, the Grandfather, married a wolf and set his daughter to the task of killing wolves. But Ness doesn’t want to be a killer. The only thing that’s keeping her from running away is her best (and only) friend in the world, her pack’s alpha, Kenneth. Kenneth chose Ness to be his successor, meaning that she, along with two other boys, will be the pack’s future alphas. Gently, and without forcing her, Kenneth tries to show Ness that while killing a wolf can be painful at times, it is necessary, as it is ever Slayer’s job to protect humans from the brutality of the wolves. Her whole pack is counting on her to accept her role, and one, Malcolm, mocks her constantly.
     Malcolm, in an attempt to get back at Ness for humiliating him, kills a plumber she befriended. Furious, Ness embraces her birthright and joins her pack for the upcoming hunt. But the hunt turns into a disaster, and Ness is forced to make a life threatening decision: she must enter the wolves’ lair and steal, or kill, their weapon of mass destruction, a slayer named Kite. Ness rescues him and manages to escape, but only after Kenneth saves her from the evil wolf queen.
     With Ness’s and Kenneth’s help, Kite joins the pack and vows to hunt down his wolf captures. But, in order for the rest of the pack not to know what his purpose with the wolves had been, Kenneth lies and tells everyone that Kite is Ness’s boyfriend. Ness goes along with it until she develops feelings for her fellow alpha, Johnny, who’s loved Ness for years. Ness ‘breaks up’ with Kite and dates Johnny, eventually marrying him, but not before finding out that her sister is in a relationship with the heir to the wolf throne. Any sort of relationship between slayers and wolves is strictly forbidden without the pack’s approval, and Ness sends her sister away, hoping to protect her and her beau until the next hunt is over. The hunt goes badly and Kite very nearly loses his life. Ness promised a wolf who is on her deathbed that she will raise her child as her own. And then, after bringing her sister home, asks the pack to allow the wolf to come into their pack and continue dating Ness’s sister. Reluctantly, the pack agrees.
     But happiness never lasts long enough. The wolf king wants his son back and probably won’t allow him to marry a slayer. That is, until Ness finds out that the prince has an older sister, who was raised by humans, and is the rightful heir to the throne. Will the king accept the exchange? Will he promise not to harm his son’s betrothed or will he allow his envious wife to kill the lot of them? Ness has no idea, but with her husband and their adopted infant son, she is going to try.

http://whenibecameanauthor.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/here-with-the-wolves/

http://whenibecameanauthor.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/here-with-the-wolves-part-2/