My Kingdom for a Horse
Okay the title of this blog doesn’t have much to do with its content I just wanted to impress you with the fact that I can drop a Shakespeare quote on you, which means, by direct inference, that I am the next coming of the bard, which makes me wonder if ol’ William would have used the wealth from his plays to purchase a hair transplant from Doctor Bosley. Hmm, perhaps I should not leave the TV on while I’m writing at 3 am. In case you can’t follow this yet, this blog is pure stream of consciousness, and I’m fairly sure I have adult ADD or something similar, perhaps the early onset of dementia – as if anybody could tell. I’m writing this blog because I feel obligated to blog about something, because I understand blogging is something Indie authors must do to remain obscure, which reminds me that all great blogs have to have a list. Damn. I wasn’t prepared to make a coherent list. How about this one…
1. Carrots.
Carrots should be on the top of every list because the are orange and crunchy, but not crunchy enough to break your teeth. I have to lose seven pounds by 4-18 so I can get life insurance, so my kids will not have to sell artificial flowers (Boby Darin’s best song) on Boston common if I bite the big one. Damn. Maybe I need to become the ultimate multi-tasker and buy one of those treadmills that come with a desk and laptop. Perish the thought. Real men do not buy treadmills and whine about weight. We do auto repair and scream F this and F that, and above all F you!
Carrots is my list. Period. That’s it. And its a damn good list.
I love the Red Sox. But, I hate their ownership. Mutual fund nerds like John Henry make me want to puke. Only a total a-hole who values $ over people would ever fire Terry Francona – an unforgivable act. You think Ted Turner would ever fire a manager that won 2 World Series? Tito should have been tenured. He was the one who loved baseball. He is now our ghost. Another 86 years…This being said, with the 3-1 start this season, I could learn to love Ben Cherrington if he could learn to talk like a human being instead of a wind-up robot that always says the right thing. Memo to Ben get caught driving drunk on the Mass Pike with a hooker on your lap while screaming “the Yankees suck!” and we’ll love you forever.
Damn. I’ve drifted. This is a blog about independent authoring, a.k.a pure folly. Here’s what matters indies…just write your God damn book and toss it out there. It’s just a book. All this twitter this and facebook that crap doesn’t matter. If two people love your book 100,000 will. The trick is this…it’s very hard to write a book that two people will like unless its about a vampire detective nymphomaniacs, which will be the topic of my next masterpiece.
Damn. It’s Saturday – I think. Gotta go to the dump, burn a big pile of twigs, and coach little league. I love Saturdays. I may even go to BJ’s and buy mass quantities of stuff. I love BJ’s – the store. That’s it for now. I’m not going to re-read this blog even though I know it contains numerous grammatical mistakes. I’m just too busy, plus I’m an Indie so everybody knows Indies can’t write worth shit, so just F’n deal with it.
TTFN 
W4$
