Do you always reply back?

A few days back I got this mail.



Hello Preeti,





Hope you are doing well! :) 




I have a request and wonder if you would you please consider writing a blogpost in the future in your blog about "Why I reply back always" ? ( Your tag line in every post). What replying back means to your friends and fans and how it affects relationships positively in your life? 




I have been getting angry/annoyed with a lot of friends who feel its okay to not reply back ( They are nice people in real life, but are okay with the excuse that someone is 'busy' and hence do not reply back. Why not reply back later then?) It almost feels like I am the odd person out who firmly feels that if one cares, one ALWAYS reply back (at least to friends, coworkers and known people). You go an extra mile and reply to even strangers! I think that's what makes you special ! I find it great that you allocate time to reply back to back no matter how much piled up work you have. I really like that about you because people who mail you feel respected. 




I want to write about in my blog and I want to link you as the best example of a person who is ultra busy but still replies back. 




So in case if you ever write a post about this topic, it would be great!!  I can finally show off that I know one person who always replies back no matter how busy her life is! :-)




Regards,

Nithya




This is what I replied to her:





It  is indeed VERY important to reply back.It is just plain good manners.

I get pissed off when people don't reply back. 

Will surely blog about it.

Can I post this mail?

Will leave out your name if you don't want to be identified.

Let me know!







Below is Nithya's reply:






Ah! I got such a fast reply :D Yesss . Please do use my name because I surely want to link your post to my blog and tell people that it is important to reply back. 





This is my blog 

http://wanderingpari.blogspot.in/




Once you post I am going to link yours with a picture and tell people to reply back! :D 




Thanks for considering it! :) 




Regards,

Nithya








We had an interesting exchange after that on this subject, as obviously it is something where we thought alike. 



I have always felt it is basic courtesy to reply back. If someone spoke to you in real life, and you just walked away, of course it would be seen as rude. So why is it different in the virtual space?



I agree that 'instant replies' will not always be possible. But of course, one has to get back within a 'reasonable' time frame. 'Reasonable' here is defined by your closeness with the other person and your relationship with them. If a person has asked you something, the least you can do is get back to them, at your earliest convenience. I get hundreds of fan mails. I do reply to all personally, even though it takes a fair bit of my time. Many ask obvious questions like 'how to get published'. (a simple google search on 'how to get published in India' will throw up so many useful links! Yet they write and ask me. I always reply--telling them to check my website, where there are links on the home page itself. Some of them write back and thank me and some don't even bother to do that. I used to reply to all the comments on my blog too. I still try--but sometimes it becomes impossible really!)



Nithya feels that most people think it is okay to not reply at all--and people who make a fuss about not getting replies are being too nit-picky and extra-sensitive and are asked to 'chill' and 'not to make a big deal out of something so trivial'.




I, like Nithya, do believe that it isn't trivial. It is just plain good manners!

I remember, two incidents that happened ages ago, much before I became a published author, much before I was a known name. The first was with Shobaa de and the second with Mukul Sharma.



Before I got published, I had written a mail to Shobha De as she is someone who I admired a lot while I was in college (she used to write a column for 'The Week' which I used to wait for every week) during the pre-Internet era. When I got her e-mail address, I couldn't help dashing off a mail of appreciation. She replied back promptly  and I remember feeling overjoyed. 




 I really admired  Mukul Sharma's writing too. He used to write  a column called 'Cosmic uplink' regularly for Economic times. I never missed a single one. He used to also write Mindsport in the Sunday edition of Times of India, which I immensely enjoyed. I wrote to him too, appreciating his work and I got a prompt reply from him as well.



For me, such accomplished writers, replying back to me, a mere reader, meant a great deal. It mattered to me that they made the time to reply. 

 

I have had close friends not replying to my pings on Instant messengers like BBM or whatsapp. Then after a few days, I will get a message from them, as though the earlier ping did not matter at all! They will talk about something entirely new.

I have even had close people logging off without even saying a 'bye' or a 'gtg'. ('Got to go' for those of you unfamiliar with chat lingo). For me, it is just not acceptable to do that!  





People wonder why I make time  to reply to even strangers. I wonder why it is that people ignore even close friends and get back when it is totally convenient to them.





In my books (no pun intended), it is simple. It is plain good manners to respond. (and nobody is that busy that they can't respond. It is a matter of priorities. If someone is important to you, you will always make time and get back.)



And not responding are often deal-breakers for me. 



That's just the way I am--old fashioned, 'proper' and finicky about  people I consider close, getting back to me,  as soon as I ping :)



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Published on April 05, 2013 02:35
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